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Yes, I Have Tattoos! And a Two-Month-Old!

By Danielle |

GASP! A Mom with TATTOOS!

In the past couple weeks I have seen a couple posts, and publications around the internet talking about Moms with tattoos. I have to say, I didn’t click on any of them because the titles alone sent my blood boiling as I am the main character in their outlandish tales – A Tattooed Mother.

So I started thinking about what could really be said, and what kind of assumptions could be made.  I mean, in reality we know what happens when you make assumptions too!

But does having a tattoo instantly make you a bad parent, or does the ink that was placed into your skin suddenly make your parenting choices, and judgment clouded?  I mean really people, are we going out on that limb?

I am sure there are people out there who have had momentary lapses in judgement that have resulted in a stupid tattoo they hate a month after the fact or let their better judgement slip when deciding on a piece of artwork… but the majority of us who do have tattoos took serious time to sit down and plan them, design them, and have meaning behind them, the same we do with the choices we make while parenting our child.

In life, we all have bad choices we have made, whether it was a past relationship or just a friendship that ended the way we wouldn’t have liked it to… but does having regret send us into the bad parent category?   Of course not, because then we would all be bad parents!

Why not start from birth teaching our children acceptance of others, whether they choose to have children, and tattoos, or may just dress in a manner we never would ourselves.

To answer the new question, and Mom war du jourYes Moms can have tattoos and be awesome, responsible, loving mothers to their children!

Is this just another example of ridiculous mom wars?

Inked out but still totally tuned-in: 10 Celebrity Moms with Tattoos!

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About Danielle

danielle

Danielle

Danielle Elwood is a straight-shooting Florida based mom of three and emerging indie author. Read bio and latest posts → Read Danielle's latest posts →

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26 thoughts on “Yes, I Have Tattoos! And a Two-Month-Old!

  1. Felicia says:

    These “wars” that are created are just opportunities to split us up, divide and conquer style. It’s so silly to get brought into them and give them energy — as moms of all types (working vs sahm; tattooed vs not; attached vs traditional) we are all going through the same struggles. My hope is that we can see past our differences in style or appearance and learn from each other. I have found great support from moms who have vastly different values than I have. We all have the same goal — raising our kids in the best way we know how.

  2. robyn says:

    So are you saying your tattoo was a mistake and something you regret? Are you writing about pre conceived notions of Moms and tattoos or regrets of getting a tattoo in general?

  3. jodi says:

    i’ve never given my tattoos or motherhood any thought… they are a part of me and always will be – nothing to be ashamed of… :)

  4. Danielle625 says:

    @Robyn – I do not regret my tattoos one bit. Each one is special to me, and has very significant meaning, and the people who automatically assume someone is a bad parent because they have tattoos are ignorant, basically.

  5. El says:

    I would never get tattoos, but many of my best mom friends have them (large and small-hidden and out for the world). I color my hair, they color their skin. Are any of us worse mothers for those choices? No!

  6. NormalAmericanMom says:

    You should ask yourself this question; 15 years down the road, would I want my son or daughter to have tattoos all over their body? If the answer to that question is “no,” then you must at least acknowledge the fact that some people may be turned off by them. I have a tattoo…I also have two beautiful children. I don’t regret my tattoo, but I pray that my precious babies don’t put the same ink on their gorgeous skin. Hypocritical? Maybe. I don’t care how much people say “they are significant to me,” if your baby says “I’m going to tattoo a bleeding scull on my arm because it means a lot to me” I will bet you $100 dollars the first words out of your mouth will be “Don’t do that!”

    Also – I believe everyone may have a special symbol that means something to them, but when I see a man or woman with 20+ tattoos all over I think “give me a fricken break! All 50 of those symbols don’t have the same sentimental value.” It becomes trashy at a point.

  7. Amanda H. says:

    Oh you have tattoos? You must be the worst mother evar!!! /sarcasm

  8. Koreen says:

    Wait a minute! You have tattoos??? And they let you have children!

    Geez what a waste! People obviously do not have enough to do when the day comes than to make silly assumptions about others.

  9. Elizabeth says:

    I’ve been told by medical practitioners I know, that the tattooed people they have come into contact with are more likely to survive a catastrophic accident than those without tattoos…why? They conjectured that is has to do with the type of personality of tattooed people, their higher tolerance for pain, and their toughness that help them survive.
    I have no tattoos, but my husband has 10. I love that he has the guts to be who he is and wear his tattoos with pride, some of which were inked during his military service. And I chose to have a family with him partly because he’s a guy who is not only tough enough to get tattoos but also to survive all kinds of adversity. That strength is something I want my kids to have, and in my eyes, the ink on his skin is only a reminder of what a fierce parent he will for his children, a parent who will always keep his kids safe, no matter what.

  10. Roni says:

    So do I and I’m panning my next! tatto that is. ;)

  11. lo says:

    It is stupid and totally out of context. We are becoming a labelling society and ALL we want is names and adjectives. It just makes feel some people “smart”. O you have a tatoo…then you are a bad mother. as simple as that. As if it is a matter of skin. it makes me want to go and have one too but I am too much of a chicken. I pierced my ears 23 years old because it hurts :-) .

  12. Danielle625 says:

    @NormalAmericanMom – As I am also a “Normal” American mother, if my kids in 15 or 20 years want to get tattoos, I will be there to support them and help them to decide what they want to get, and make sure they go to a reputable, safe, and clean place to get them done. Just like my parents did, and mind you, my father doesn’t care for my tattoos, and my mother has nothing more than her ears pierced.
    I don’t see anything wrong with them getting tattoos as long as 1) They are of legal age and 2) Know they are forever!
    As for tattoos representing something, each thing I have got means something, whether it was an accomplishment in life, an event, a person I loved dearly that passed, or whatever. What one person finds trashy, another finds beautiful.

  13. Monica says:

    I would be very interested to read these articles that you are talking about that say a mother can’t be a good mother if she has a tattoo. I have never heard that at all. Yes, I’ve heard people think it’s trashy for a woman to have a tattoo, but that’s women in general not so much a mother. And you are going to make your children wait until they are of legal age to get a tattoo when you didn’t? It amazes me how you flip flop on issues. A 16 year old girl should be able to jump state lines to get an abortion because it’s her body and her life, but a 16 year old can’t get a tattoo? Because legal age for a tattoo is 18.

  14. Nik says:

    Ok, is this really an issue? Lots of people have tattoos, LOTS, moms grandmas, etc. Tattoos have lost their edge in many respects because they have become so prevalent. Tattoos are no longer a daring thing to do, more like a rite of passage (unless you’re talking facial/head tattoos.) Some may judge but who cares, really?

  15. Maria says:

    I’ve never heard this argument either. I think most mothers and half the grandmothers I know are tatooed. It’s silly to get worked up about it.
    I’ve thought a lot about what my kids might do that I may object to but ultimately it is their body to control. I’ve got my own. I try to make decisions for them, while that is my job, that keep their bodies whole and well. They do not belong to me.

  16. NormalAmericanMom says:

    What is special and meaningful now – may not be in 20 years….and whatever it was that is tattood on you will most likely be too sagged or faded to be recognizable. I think it is mothers who take their kids to get them “tatted up” are what people may have more of an issue with that a mother with tattoos. If a mother knows the following:
    1) no matter how reputable a tattoo parlor is (oxymoron?) there is still a risk of infection 2) In general employers of many business-related and medical professions will be immediately turned off by a visible tat 3)It is a permanent decision that may cause them to feel pain or regret in the future
    why would she support her child in getting one? This is a devils advocate role I’m playing because as I said above, I have a tattoo which I do not regret. But I would never want my kids to have artificial ink imbedded under their skin with a needle. If you do, thats your perogative, but don’t be all shocked and shaken when you read people expressing the opinion that tattoos do not go hand in hand with motherhood.

  17. Julie says:

    You might try hanging out on the Offbeat Mama blog. Most of the women over there are viewed much the same for being a little different. I know I feel right at home over there. :)

  18. Emilie says:

    Dear “NormalAmericanMom”. Might I ask, what is it that makes you more “normal” and “American” than anyone else here? I really want to know. Anyways, I think that people are obsessed with putting labels on people and situations. Our society is obsessed with thinking inside very small boxes. If you don’t want your children to have tattoos, then when they are at that age (or now if they are) you can give them your reasons and set your boundaries. But, a real tattoo parlor will be as sterile as an operating room. Yes, there is a level of pain, but there is that with piercings too. I believe that as long as a young adult is capable of understanding that and the commitment involved then what is the problem with a mother being there. I think if we show our children that we are willing to be supportive, educators – they will feel less of a need to seek thrills and individuality in unsafe methods. And did you really have to make a statement such as this: “reputable a tattoo parlor is (oxymoron?) “? Do you have any idea how judgmental that sounds??

  19. Amanda says:

    Excellent post! I agree with why you said in your OG post and in your comments.

    I have tattoos and 2 boys. My husband also has several. A tattoo is a personal decision and shouldn’t be taken lightly. That being said, if/when my boys decide to get a tattoo, we will be supportive and objective if need be.

  20. BC says:

    @Elizabeth- awesome post.

    @normalamericanmom- I have tattoos and none of them mean anything, They are also very visible (and beautiful pieces of art, I might add). Does that mean I’m an EVEN TRASHIER mom than the ones with 50 meaningful tattoos? haha!

  21. Greta says:

    And yet, I bet they’d be totally okay with tattooed dads. Whatever. Another double standard. ZZZZZ

  22. Taz says:

    is this really still a big deal? tattoos are sooo mainstream it’s crazy! maybe it’s where/when i grew up or something, but this is not a big deal in my area. in fact one of the best moms i know is a tattoo artist, my husband is pretty much covered and i grew up with a dad that has a full sleeve! i obviously know judgmental people are out there- i have a childhood memory of a neighbor girl telling me she wasn’t allowed to play at our end of the block cause of “how my dad was”! Yeah, my dad used to speak at universities about workplace discrimination because of his tattoos in the 80′s!

  23. Erica says:

    As a mom with tattoos in the double digits, I just have to say that I understand where you’re coming from. I think a that tattoo placement also has an influence on whether or not someone thinks you’re a “better” mom. For instance, I have a (almost) half sleeve on one arm and since getting that one, I have noticed a lot more stares and looks. In the summer, when a lot of my tattoos show because I am wearing shorts and a tank, people will actually turn their heads. Why? Is it a big deal? I don’t understand it at all. Some of the kindest people I have met in my life are heavily tattooed. :) Also – to NormalAmericanMom I say – I have a couple of tattoos that aren’t my favorite, but to me I don’t regret any of them. They all hold meaning, and even if I am not in love with the image I have tattooed on me, I remember WHY I got it and it brings me back to that moment in my life. That is what I love about my tattoos. They are the story of my journey. And I would certainly support my kids getting them once they are of the legal age. And why is a clean tattoo parlor and oxy moron? It’s the same as a clean dentist office or clean health clinic…I don’t really understand that.

  24. Lisa says:

    Normalamericanmom, no, a reputable tattoo “parlor” is not an oxymoron. There are many shops that take pride in their art, cleanliness, and reputation. Just like any other business.

  25. Amy says:

    There is a definite stigma to not just people with tattos, but mothers. My family and I live in a very suburban affluent neighborhood and i have had to deal with many points stares and rude comments. (I have a chest tattoo from shoulder to shoulder and 6 others) My children are all well taken care of, extremely intellegient, scouts, athletes, and productive members of society. As their mother I am Room parent, den mother, team mom, PTO member, and most importantly a Good no Great mother. I am active and involved in my childrens lives unlike many of the mothers I am around. I will never judge them though because that is not who I am or wish to be. My kids love me and my tattoos. Other peoples kids like my tattoos. Once people get past my tattoos they like me too. I am a hell of alot of fun!

  26. Kails says:

    I actually had a conversation with my mother (who has no tattoos) about the stigmas and stereotypes that go with tattoos. I am a single mom to a 17 month old boy, and I have several tattoos of my own. I have seen both sides to the tattooed world. I have seen people with ink that are hard working and dedicated, no matter what they have on their body, but I have also seen the “generational welfare” families that are all covered. While I do not think it is fair to judge people based on their appearance, I can understand why there is such a stereotype with tattoos. A lot of people are still stuck in the “The only people with tattoos are bikers and sailors” era, and though times are dramatically changing and tattoos are becoming more acceptable, we still draw the attention of nay sayers. I think that if you are careful with your decision to get tattoos, and plan out what you want, then we will have no qualms about what people will say. They might tell us that we will regret them, but we know that we wont because we were smart enough to take the time to make an informed decision. They may say we look like freaks, but we know that our ink tells a story, and therefore makes us beautiful (:

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