You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 1 of 12
Being pregnant with twins as a 5-foot tall woman gave me some insight into what it must feel like to be a sideshow attraction. I literally could not leave my home without enduring sidelong glances, full-on stares, and people loudly informing me that I was having twins.
Now that the twins are here, the running street commentary has continued, except now its (thankfully) directed to my adorable son and daughter instead of at my belly. Here are the sometimes sweet, but mostly clueless, things people say to me
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 2 of 12
1: Youve got your hands full!
This comment is usually accompanied by a pitying glance, a sharp intake of breath, and/or an eye roll. Its true that my twins often keep both my hands full, but don't feel sorry for me. In the past four months, my husband and I have kept our jobs, cleaned our house, cooked real meals, eaten in restaurants, hosted dinner parties, and we almost always wear pants with zippers, not drawstrings. Now will you please get the door for me?
Is You have your hands full! heinous or harmless?
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 3 of 12
2: Do twins run in your family?
Hmm a veiled attempt to figure out whether or not I had IVF (I did), or genuine curiosity about the miracle of twins? My typical response: Yes, but these two came from a laboratory.
Its not your imagination — twins are everywhere
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 4 of 12
3: Did you know you were having twins, or were you surprised?
Oh, come on. Do I look like one of those women on I Didnt Know I Was Pregnant?
Well, you see, I went to the bathroom and felt something real big coming out. At first I thought it was that I had Chipotle for dinner, but then I saw a head and then another head!
Yes, we knew it was twins. Its called a sonogram, and we had many of them.
How to tell if youre having twins or more
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 5 of 12
4: You won the lottery!
While I do consider myself lucky that Ill know the joys of parenting both a son and a daughter, theres still something a little distasteful about likening my birth experience to rubbing a nickel across a Gold Rush Double-Down scratch-off ticket.
Must-have items to survive with newborn twins
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 6 of 12
5: Are they identical?
This one confuses me, especially when the asker knows that they are looking at a boy and a girl. Yes, I often reply. They are identical, except for that one has a penis and the other a vagina." (Twins of different sexes are fraternal.)
What its like having fraternal twins
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 7 of 12
6: You're done!
What am I, a steak thats been on the grill too long? Are you part of a population-control secret operative?
How do you know when your familys complete?
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 8 of 12
7: Did you have a C-section?
Yep, it was a C-section. No, Im not breastfeeding, though moms of twins are able to. Thanks for your interest in my lady parts! Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about your butthole now?
Im not sorry I didnt have a natural birth
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 9 of 12
8: You are so blessed! God bless them!
Its totally cool if you think that the baby Jesus or an angel or a man in the sky smiled down on us and gave us our children. But if we were to thank someone, it would be British physiologist Robert G. Edwards who won the Nobel Prize in Medicine for developing in vitro fertilization.
Why Irish twins are NOT the same as having twins
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 10 of 12
9: I once saw a woman with triplets
Are you telling me this because you think it will make me feel better that I only have two kids to contend with, or do you think that moms of multiples all know each other and belong to some special club with a secret handshake? (Nope its our kids who have the secret language and superpowers, not us.)
Should moms of multiples be in a different "rank"?
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 11 of 12
10: Wow, you look great!
Its not the compliment I contest I welcome any form of flattery. Its the shock on peoples faces when they say it, as if what they really expect a new mom of twins to look like is a Biggest Loser contestant after an uphill, half-mile hike.
7 awesome things to love about your postpartum body
You’ve Got Your Hands Full! 12 of 12