Bad Parent: His and Hers
My son and daughter share a room so I can have sushi.
by Alison Lowenstein
October 25, 2007
Obviously, there are downsides to sharing a room and living in an apartment limited
in size. We must give up many aspects of privacy, and sharing a room leaves you
with even less. I'll admit that I cringed when I was changing Max's
diaper in their room and didn't notice Lucy looking over my shoulder until
she said, "Mommy, look at his silly little penis sticking up in the air."
There was a period after Max was born that I entertained the idea of selling
our apartment and moving to the suburbs to give my children their own bedrooms
and more space. And during what I consider a space-related mental breakdown,
I made my husband Peter drive the family out to Long Island and look around Port
Washington to see if we could live there. As Peter assessed houses and real estate
taxes, all I could talk about was finding a good place to pick up a burrito or
sushi. We drove around the neighborhood in search of a playground, and when we
found one empty despite it being a nice Saturday afternoon, it was obvious it
just wasn't going to work. I had the opportunity to give my kids a pleasant
suburban upbringing with separate rooms and I gave It would be a shame to move just because
our kids are different sexes.it up for quick take-out,
lively playgrounds, sidewalks and corner stores. We quickly returned to Brooklyn,
where my kids were just going to have to live with the fact that they weren't
only siblings, but they were roommates.
I'm not alone in this situation. A lot of Lucy's friends share rooms
with their siblings of the opposite sex. I tend to gravitate to these parents.
We all talk about what the next step is and when we will be forced to move. In
theory, we can move once Max is enrolled in our overly parent-involved local
public school, because once you're enrolled you can stay in the school
even if you don't live in the zone. Then we can move to another part of
our neighborhood that isn't zoned for a good school, which means we can
get a lot of space for a lot less money literally just a couple of blocks away.
These are the harsh realities of the city public school system.
But I don't want to move. I love our apartment. I secretly admired the
building we live in now for years before we moved in (it's a restored church
from the 1800s turned into co-ops), and it would be a shame to move just because
our kids are different sexes. It doesn't have to be that way. In fact,
I have a friend who grew up in Manhattan and his parents intended to put up a
wall in the bedroom he shared with his sister, but the kids protested and stayed
together until the boy left for college.
©2007 Alison Lowenstein and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Alison Lowenstein is a freelance writer and the author of City Baby Brooklyn. She also teaches writing and literature at York College. She is at work on another New York guidebook. Alison lives in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, with her husband and two kids. |
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