Bad Parent: His and Hers
My son and daughter share a room so I can have sushi.
by Alison Lowenstein
October 25, 2007
Yes, there are obvious sacrifices, even if we had a three-bedroom and my kids
had their own space. They can't have a playroom. I have to limit their
toy intake, and at holidays I specifically ask for gifts that don't take
up much space. I don't keep a lot of mementos, and the kid's artwork
has to be exceptional not to be chucked. And since they live in an apartment
building, they are constantly being shushed.
Despite the lack of space, there are advantages to growing up here. My kids are
a subway ride away from major museums. They are exposed to a variety of people
and cuisines. My daughter has become an expert at spotting open parking spaces.
They get to attend progressive preschools that refer to recess as "gross
motor play." And they are becoming socially savvy, because we spend every
afternoon at a playground with friends instead of isolated in a suburban backyard.
A few weeks ago, we were visiting my friend Aimee on Long Island, and my daughter
stood in her backyard. "This is your backyard?"I didn't ask her if she wanted her own room, because I didn't want to know. she asked.
"Yes," Aimee replied.
"So, you don't share it with your neighbors?"
"No."
Lucy pointed over the gate to the backyard next to Aimee's. "So, those
people don't get to use your yard?"
"If I invite them," she responded.
"So they only come over if you ask them?" Lucy asked.
"Yes," Aimee said, wearily.
It was starting to look as if my child was being raised on a kibbutz or some
communist-era Russian collective farm.
"This is your own yard?" Lucy asked again in disbelief, half saying it to
herself. "You don't share it with anybody?"
She was truly amazed. I didn't ask her if she wanted a backyard of her
own, and especially not her own room, because I didn't want to know. The
truth is, we had the opportunity to provide our kids with private yards and their
own bedrooms, but I chose the city instead. I hope they don't hate me for
it.
©2007 Alison Lowenstein and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Alison Lowenstein is a freelance writer and the author of City Baby Brooklyn. She also teaches writing and literature at York College. She is at work on another New York guidebook. Alison lives in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, with her husband and two kids. |
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