Bad Parent: Unschooling
Why my kid won't attend school this fall - or maybe ever.
by Joanne Rendell
September 18, 2008
We mothers and one father sit nearby drinking cool beer. Many of us have been away during the summer and we're celebrating being back together again. We are a rag-tag bunch: writers, artists, actors, an activist, one doula and a carpenter. Our kids ages range from one to six.
As the baby doll takes her last one-eyed glimpse of daylight and the bunny retreats to his hutch, our conversation turns to the "whole school thing." It's the first day of school for the rest of the country.
Some of the group are die-hard unschoolers. They believe the current school system deadens young minds and that there is nothing worse for developing curiosity and self-learning than an overworked teacher spooning out knowledge in bite-sized chunks. The schoolhouse, they believe, is a "cage" and the only way to teach kids how to be and learn in the world is to take them out into it.
Others of us are on the fence. One mom has decided not to send her kids to preschool this year, but is still open to the idea of kindergarten next year. Another mom has twin sons in first grade at a public school, but has decided not to send her younger child to preschool, and hopes one day to homeschool all three.
A few of us like the idea of some sort of curriculum, or at the very least adding more structured activities such as reading circles or science experiments into our weekly meetings. One member of the group has already ordered a number of homeschool curriculums online and she and her son are very active in New York's vibrant homeschool community.
I'm not against school. Not by any means.
As we talk, I realize that Benny is not at "real" kindergarten today, because it is what suits my family at this moment. I'm not against school. Not by any means. After all, Brad and I fared pretty nicely after a regular school education. With two PhDs between us and a couple of published books, our desire to learn clearly wasn't quashed.
But un-kindergarten for us means Benny can sleep late so I can write. It means we don't have to worry about bedtimes and can go out on the town with friends any night of the week. We can go to Europe and visit my family when the flights are cheap. Un-kindergarten also means we can pick and choose how we spend our days and who we spend them with. Benny can go to free classes at the Metropolitan Museum in the week when it's less crowded. He can read a book on sharks when he feels like it. He can experiment with bungee cords while eating his breakfast at noon.
By the end of the afternoon, baby doll is finally sealed in her earthy tomb and the kids have been hosed down with cold water. Their shrieks are heard across Brooklyn. Benny and I will now head back to Manhattan, reading the subway signs along the way ("Do not lean on door," "No exit").
Tonight, we will meet Brad for dinner and go see a movie at the movie theater. Benny's not into kid flicks like Finding Nemo or Monsters, Inc.They scare him silly. Juno was Benny's favorite this year. He likes to say, when he sees a pregnant woman, "She looks like a planet."
After the movie, we'll head home, read books, and all fall asleep around midnight. Our first day of unkindergarten will be done and we'll sleep well knowing that Benny is learning, growing, and enjoying his five year old, mud-splattered life, even in the absence of workbooks, fingerpaints, and school bells.
©2008 Joanne Rendell and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Joanne Rendell is the author of The Professors' Wives' Club (NAL/Penguin). She lives in New York City with her family. Visit her at www.joannerendell.com. |
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