16 Hilarious Fortune Cookie Messages


Feeling fortunate? You might be even more lucky after you’ve cracked open a fortune cookie. But, not all of these sayings are worth their weight in sugar. From the funny to the frightening, here are 16 fortune cookie fortunes that you may (or may not) be glad to discover inside your after-dinner dessert.

  • Confucious Says 1 of 17
    Confucious Says
    I hadn't thought of it that way.
    Photo from List of the Day.
  • The Truth Is 2 of 17
    The Truth Is
    Let's be honest here.
    Photo from List of the Day.
  • Play it Safe 3 of 17
    Play it Safe
    But, you're really, really cute.
    Photo from List of the Day.
  • Happily Ever After 4 of 17
    Happily Ever After
    Because everyone wants to say it, but no one dares.
    Photo from Xaxor.
  • Sweet Endings 5 of 17
    Sweet Endings
    Read my lips.
    Photo from Date Hookup.
  • Listen to Your Cookie 6 of 17
    Listen to Your Cookie
    That seems right.
    Photo from Dribble Glass.
  • How the Cookie Mumbles 7 of 17
    How the Cookie Mumbles
    As it turns out, the psychic who said don't listen to the Fortune Cookie may have been right.
    Photo from Not a Fortune.
  • Starving for Attention 8 of 17
    Starving for Attention
    Sometimes your fortune comes true in record time.
    Photo from Smosh.
  • Geez! 9 of 17
    I can dig.
    Photo from Mental Floss.
  • Are you Listening? 10 of 17
    Are you Listening?
    Do you ever get feeling that your cookie is trying to talk to you?
    Photo from Teche Blog.
  • Brain Food 11 of 17
    Brain Food
    Do you ever get feeling that your cookie is trying to talk to you?
    Photo from Teche Blog.
  • Eat or Eat Not, There is No Try 12 of 17
    Eat or Eat Not, There is No Try
    You gotta believe it.
    Photo from TwitGoo.
  • Simple and Sweet 13 of 17
    Simple and Sweet
    Girl, You Know It's True.
    Photo from TwitGoo.
  • Catching Some Zzz’s 14 of 17
    Catching Some Zzz's
    Everyone deserves a little snooze sometimes.
    Photo from MDolla.
  • Let’s Get Ready to Crumble 15 of 17
    Let's Get Ready to Crumble
    It's about dang time.
    Photo from SodaHead
  • Who Knew? 16 of 17
    Who Knew?
    As it turns out, your equipment is highly regarded.
    Photo from Flickr.
  • Change Your Future 17 of 17
    Change Your Future
    Create your own fortune.
    Make your own hilarious fortunes with these Homemade Fortune Cookies.


Tagged as: