Raising a Vegetarian | kids cooking | Vegetarian Kids
I had no idea that pre-school would be a minefield of meat.
Like any loving mother with a three-year-old daughter off at preschool, I’m wracked with anxiety. But while most moms are busy fretting over playground bullies and e.coli-riddled easels, it’s the spectre of bologna sandwiches that has me waking up in a cold sweat at night.
You see, my daughter, Chloe, is a strict vegetarian. She’s never tasted a hot dog, seen the inside of a McDonalds, or stepped within twenty feet of a supermarket deli counter. The reason is simple: twenty-two years ago, I swore off meat entirely. Call it what you will – my pledge to the animal kingdom or a fit of teenage rebellion. Either way, it felt right, and from that day on I haven’t had so much as a fish stick.
So when my daughter Chloe came along, I hadn’t a clue how to marinate, tenderize, heck – identify – a slab of meat. In a fit of new mother guilt, I pored over medical journals and parenting magazines in search of proof that my meatless ways would render my cherubic-faced child a protein-deprived, iron-deficient waif. But all the research pointed to the same conclusion: with the right mix of nutrients and supplements, I could raise a perfectly healthy child on a strict vegetarian diet. Even my husband, a committed carnivore, agreed to go along for the ride, sanctioning Chloe’s meat-free existence on the condition that she be free to switch to the dark side if the urge arose.
Little did I realize, that dark side would arrive sooner than expected. When I informed Chloe’s pre-school teacher the very first day of class that my daughter is a strict vegetarian, she snapped her gum and responded: “Oh, okay. But she can still eat chicken and fish, right?” I almost fainted.
But ill-informed teachers aren’t my only adversaries. I’m also squaring off against an army of three-year-olds lugging lunchboxes chock full of Chloe contraband. What sort of chance does marinated tofu and mango-flecked quinoa stand against deep-fried chicken fingers? Since her birth, I’ve imagined sitting my young daughter down for a deep philosophical conversation about animal rights. But I figured I had seven or eight years to prep for The Talk. All of a sudden, Chloe’s out of arm’s reach and surrounded by ravenous toddlers threatening to undo years of work.
And hard work it’s been. Raising a vegetarian daughter takes more than loading a diaper bag with hummus and cracker snack packs. Nursery rhymes alone are enough to render the task a full-time job. From “three blind mice getting their tails cut off by a butcher knife” to the kid who “loses his poor meatball when somebody sneezed,” I’ve had to ad lib my way through countless sing-songs. Even Dr. Seuss seemed to have it in for me, what, with his heaping platefuls of green eggs and ham.
But censorship has been the least of my challenges. You try explaining to a Filipina babysitter that shrimp paste isn’t a vegetable. I’ve traveled enough to know that in some parts of the world, the very concept of vegetarianism is incomprehensible. Some people simply don’t have the luxury of refusing dinner entrees – not when half the population lives below the poverty line. I get it. But that cultural divide hasn’t stopped me from doing things I’m not proud of, like checking Chloe’s breath for wafts of hamburger when she comes home from play dates.
Sadder than treating my toddler as if she were some bleary-eyed teenager stumbling through the door after an AC/DC concert is the fact that I seem to be going it alone these days. You’d think that the medical community would show me some love with studies revealing staggering obesity rates among toddlers. Instead, I spend my days fielding e-mails from my father containing links to articles entitled, “Iron Deficiency Anemia.” Even the normally stone-cold nurse at our pediatrician’s office burst into gales of laughter when a routine check-up revealed that Chloe is a die-hard vegetarian – as if it were a role reserved for hemp-wearing, patchouli-loving adolescents.
Yes, raising a vegetarian toddler is tough. But why shouldn’t I want my daughter eating a healthy and cruelty-free diet – even if it makes her different from her classmates? It’s just that these days, fending off weird bacteria strains and schoolyard cliques seems so much simpler than battling bologna sandwiches.
Your turn. Would you (or do you) attempt to raise a vegetarian kid?
I’ve been vegetarian for over 20 years now, and my husband is also vegetarian. Our daughter, now 2, does not eat meat. However, I just don’t see the panic about your kid having a bite of someone’s sandwich or some chicken fingers at school. My daughter is too young to make ethical choices about what she consumes, therefore we make these choices for her when we are the ones doing the purchasing. Right now all her meals are provided by us or by family / daycare providers who respect the fact that our family is veggie. However, when she gets a bit older if she goes to a friend’s house and is fed ham for lunch so be it. To me it’s akin to how I wouldn’t go through one of her friend’s toy boxes and declare that my child won’t play with the toys that don’t meet my approval. Sure, I don’t buy Dora-themed plastic shlock, and I have my reasons for doing so, but it would be foolhardy to try to impose my reasoning on others. When my daughter is old enough to choose to be vegetarian (if she does do so) she will be able to voice her own dietary restrictions to others when the occasion arises. Until then, the occasional bit of meat won’t kill her.
i think your fear here could do more harm than good.
censoring dr. seuss green eggs and ham?
really?
I have to agree with the other posts. I’m in the exact same situation: I’m vegetarian, my husband a vegetarian-friendly carnivore, my children vegetarians. However, I think it’s important to examine why your child is a vegetarian. If you weren’t sure of your own motives to make the switch, it could be possible they’re not the best motives for your child. Also, like any forbidden fruit, if you deny the existence of meat to your child, she’s going to eventually want it more and more.
Use “Green Eggs and Ham” as a springboard for a discussion about what meat is. It’s out there, she’s going to see it and be exposed to it forever. Do your best to give her the tools to make the best decision and then hope for the best. There are far worse things than eating meat.
Yeah, agreeing with the other posters here. I think that communicating with her that meat is made of animals, in an age-appropriate way, is a must, but there’s no reason to freak out if she tries meat here and there. It’s not going to poison or addict her, and most of what she eats every day will be prepared and approved by you. As she gets older, you can explain to her in more detail why you don’t eat meat and prefer that she didn’t, but it won’t kill her to try bologna. I’m not sure why it bothers you so much, frankly – if her diet is 99% cruelty-free, that’s still quite a bit better than average!
I agree with the other posters about letting yourself relax a bit. If you can accept that your husband eats meat regularly, why is it the end of the world if your daughter has a bite of it? If you continue to provide her with a good example, and clear discussions of the issue, she will learn to politely decline meat, just like other kids learn to decline foods they can’t eat because of religion or allergies. I assume you are already dealing with her seeing her daddy eat meat, or her grandparents at Thanksgiving. My husband and I are long-time vegetarians, and we’re raising our one-year old to be meatfree, but we understand that we can’t even keep him from eating dirt when we’re not looking.
But to be more helpful, a Jewish preschool may be a good solution for you. I know that the one near my house does not let kids bring meat in their lunches, to make it easier to keep their dining room kosher. We’re thinking of this as an option for our son when he goes to prechool, though, again, I’m not sure he needs a purely vegetarian envirionment.
I am mostly vegetarian (I will eat fish if its wild and local), as is my husband, however our son eats meat a couple of times a week. I would prefer it if he made the decision to become a vegetarian when he gets older, but I feel strongly that it should be his choice. If children are “not allowed to eat meat” then they often rebel and reject vegetarianism on principle. I want him to choose to be a vegetarian (or not) based on what feels right to him.
Oh, won’t someone please save this privileged mommy from gum-cracking preschool teachers and ignorant Filipina babysitters? It’s breaking my heart.
It amazes me that someone will read an article that she knows darn well she’ll disagree with simply to make a nasty comment.
Thanks for the article. We’re veg and so far, so is our 8 month old. Not sure if it’ll stay that way. It’s something we’re talking about. Nice to see another’s perspective.
First of all, read The China Study. All the scientific backing you need for vegetarianism, and especially veganism. Secondly, though, ask yourself if you’re trying to help your daughter or trying to control her. I don’t understand why you changed the words to three blind mice – it would seem to me a “teachable moment” – if she asks about it at all, which she probably wouldn’t. When she does start asking about meat, though, simple answer: animals are our friends, and we don’t eat our friends. You’re psyching yourself out, and it’s ridiculous.
I kind of wish I had a choice in deciding what my 2-year-old daughter can and can’t eat. To an extent I do, but several a long list of food allergies limit us.
I pack her food for daycare three days/week and of course am concerned that she will reach out and grab another child’s goldfish cracker (which would result in projectile vomiting) or want a bite of the cake everyone else is having on a birthday (more vomiting, hives and possible need for epinephrine). But mostly all I can do to control the situation when she’s out of the house is educate her teacher and the daycare administrators, our family and our friends about her allergies. We’ve had some allergy reactions when she’s eating under someone else’s supervision, but they were dealt with appropriately and we moved on.
I guess maybe I’d see your issue about trying to maintain your daughter’s vegetarianism in a similar way. It’s your choice, but you can’t totally control her or her environment, and — at least with this kind of choice — it’s not a life or death situation.
This reads almost like a parody. Checking her breath after she’s with the nanny?! Censoring classic children’s literature? Really? I respect your decision to be a vegetarian and raise your daughter that way, but you sound kind of controlling. Unless you are with your child 24/7, she will be exposed to different lifestyles and points of view. And I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think the more you try to shelter her, the more meat becomes “forbidden fruit”, and thus more appealing.
Oh, my goodness sweetheart! This is a lot of drama.
I say that as a vegetarian myself, with a SIX year old who has never tasted meat, or been inside a mcdonalds. My son went to pre-k and is now is a public school and takes his lunch everyday except pizza day.
You are choosing for your daughter to be different, it’s not a vegetarian world, and sheltering her from things like Dr. Seuss is not going to help, my son has always been told that we don’t eat animals because we love them, they are our friends However, other people do choose to eat them and we can respect their choices, the same as we wish for ours to be respected. Sugar coating things, and viewing meat as a threat, in my opinion will only make things harder than they need to be!
That being said…
I applaud your choice, and I understand. I still get asked if we eat chicken and fish.
Everything Fustian said…plus:
If your husband is a “committed carnivore” how (and why) on earth do you shield your daughter from the reality that many people eat meat? It seems bizarre that you would censor Green Eggs & Ham when her own father is right there eating bacon.
My kids have never taken lunch to preschool, just a snack; any food I’ve ever sent with them would conform to the strictest vegetarian’s standards. And they’ve never eaten bologna in their lives.
With all due respect, it really does seem like unnecessary drama is being created. I’d be interested to see if you remain this obesessed with preschool snacks when (and if) you have a second child. (Like many, I’ve loosened up considerably since having a second child!)
This reads almost like a parody. Checking her breath after she’s with
the nanny?! Censoring classic children’s literature? Really?
I find it very hard to believe. There’s no way to know for sure, but it sounds like she was exaggerating for comic effect.
This situation sounds like a challenge every parent goes through. You may not have TV but your kid goes to a friend’s house and there’s unlimited access to cable, and so on. You sort of have to take it in stride. Limited exposure to the forbidden item (whatever it is) is usually no big deal
I’m assuming that the drama is really just to make for an interesting article- as a writer, I also tend towards dramatics when writing articles. That said, I agree with 99% of the others- guide her but don’t go crazy. Let her have the freedom to choose, its what makes us human.
Honestly, people like you give vegetarians a really bad rap- you reinforce vegetarian=annoying. Oh my god! Your child has being ruined! Meat on the breath!
I think your Filipina nanny can handle the information about the fish paste, btw (and really, Babble Eds, didn’t you think people would be all over that racist statement?)
I am a strict vegetarian and my husband is not. Our arrangement is that the kids are vegan their first year (yup, no animal products at all) after which time I introduce dairy and my husband can feed them meats. My daughter is now 3 and has no interest in eating meat. She has tried it all, but prefers to “eat like Mommy.” My son is 8 months old and he happily munches on mashed veggies, fruits, beans and tofu for right now. I believe that kids should make their own culinary decisions, but should do so in an educated way. I don’t want to stop my hubby from offering the kids ‘his’ food, but do want to explain that eating chicken means literally eating a cute, furry CHICKEN or that eating fish means cosuming a cute little actual FISHY. My husband says that telling her that is unfairly prejudicial. I feel certain that y’all will have some strong opinions on the matter. Let’s hear it
Am i the only one that got the humour in this article?? Come on people, lighten up!!
As a mother of a four year old I appreciate your struggle to maintain a meat free child. Thanks for making me laugh. Oh and GGsmama, i think you’re the one giving us a bad rap by being so anal and humorless, plus don’t you think its taking it a bit far to call the writer a racist?
Exactly what esther said.
I have been a vegetarian for 14 years, DH for about 12 (vegan for the first 4), and our children eat meat. I don’t buy or prepare it, but if we’re out and they want meat, they can have it.
All three boys were vegetarians, though, until they were old enough to ask for meat. While at my mom’s, my eldest–then almost 3 y/o–says, “Oooh, Mom! Gamma’s making something delicious. She says it’s called chicken!” I knew then, I should probably broaden the kid’s horizons, so I let him chow down.
I think vegetarianism is not really a choice a child can make unless that child has also been exposed to meat.
Hey Veggie Mama,
Oooh you’re a brave one – asking for advice. Hats off to you!
We’re omnivores who feel strongly that our children should know exactly where food comes from. Chicken does come from chickens, lamb from lambs and fish from fish. We believe that too few children understand the relationship between the natural world, farming and what is eaten at home (of course this may be because too many children are eating processed, packaged foods but that’s a slight digression).
So, in short, I agree with you. Telling children (in a matter-of-fact way) where food comes from is the way forward!
Watch this, if you need further proof:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyUvNnmFtgI&feature=player_embedded
You’re giving them the tools they need to make educated choices and, in my mind, that’s one of the best gifts a parent can give.
I refuse to feed my kids the same thing cattle rancher feed cattle to fatten them up for slaughter – processed soy. Soy is a major allergen. Ever hear of someone allergic to meat? You want to eat healthy then choose grass fed meats and free range eggs. Dont force a child to eat a diet full of persticides, artificial ingreadients and genetically modifed soy products. Humans are not vegetarians. I choose the health of my children any day over the life of an animal. Besides every little boy I know who eats lots of soy has man boobs.
This article made me laugh outloud. Talk about over-reacting! It’s obviously the mother’s personal choice to be a vegetarian, but freaking out because the kid might take a bite of a chicken strip is insane. I am not a vegetarian. The vegetarians who want to avoid meat to be healthier, good for you. Although I would never agree with anyone who says meat is unhealthy, beacuse it’s not. The vegetarians who don’t eat meat because it’s “cruel” to animals, are nuts. Give me a break. Chickens, cows, fish, pigs etc were put on this earth to feed us. End of story.
I grew up in farm country, where many of us raised animals for food. I knew exactly how my meat got to the table, and I’m raising my daughter to know as well. We don’t eat ‘pork’ or ‘beef,’ we eat pig and cow. I also did a lot of research on soy and soy-based products, like the ‘meatless meat’ on the market, and decided I didn’t want my family eating a lot of that stuff (some of the ingredients read like super-processed junk food).
I see an eating disorder on the horizon.
Here is a news flash: the homo sapiens species, which every single entity that posted here is a member of, eat meat. Our species are omnivores which means we eat everything. That includes hundreds of thousands of years eating the flesh of other animals. All aspects of our bodies that have to do with consumption of food have evolved to consume flesh…our teeth, our saliva, our stomachs, our digestive tracts.
There is nothing odd or wrong about eating meat…what’s odd is NOT eating meat. You have difficulty raising your daughter to not eat meat because that is what human beings do. Of course it’s everywhere…it’s normal. It’s not meat that makes our kids the fattest in the world…it’s how we consume our food and the choices we make…not just meat. That is patently ridiculous. I eat meat, so does my wife and our son. None of us are fat.
Lighten up and let your daughter be the creature her DNA mandates her to be. If you are worried about animal cruelty (a worthwhile thing to be concerned about and teach your child about, I wholly agree) then choose your meats based on their source. (If you can afford it…most can’t afford that type of food thus the necessity of factory farms to feed six billions hungry bodies).
I’m off to eat a burger for lunch. Delicious. Just like my ancestors on the high plains! Grunt Grunt!
ES – I know lots of vegetarians that eat fish. You might not consider them vegetarians, but I figure if they call themselves that, why should I argue? I always ask a vegatarian if they eat fish, eggs or milk. (I assume chicken is out…) I even once knew a vegetarian couple that would eat beef on occassion.VeggieMama- does that exclude breast milk? Because last time I looked, human mothers are animals. Breast milk is most certainly MILK!
As for telling them that fish comes from a cute little fishy, I wouldn’t say tuna is little. It’s not a goldfish. Maybe if we are eating sardines…. I’m also probably in the minority in thinking chickens are cute. But few animals are cuter than sheep and lambs. Cute and delicious.
All these opinions (offered by non-vegetarians) about how to raise vegetarian kids are frankly ridiculous. Let’s remember that there are millions of people (Indians!) who, for generations, have lived meat free. In my family, meat is unknown and unlamented. I grew up vegetarian (as did my siblings and many of my friends) and I never felt deprived because I couldn’t eat meat. I did have some hard times in school and on field trips, but it never ever made me want to eat meat. I just made me wish other people (and various institutions) were more open-minded. As for music and literature, I naturally self-censored: I read ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ but I decided by myself to change the ‘Hamburgers and Hot Dogs’ lyrics to my violin exercises.
Bottom line: vegetarianism is a completely valid option in life. Frankly, things are a lot easier for vegetarian kids than they were when I was growing up. If you actually know how to make good food (fyi, I never ate soy until college) your kids won’t miss a damn thing. It’s not some hokey fad, but a centuries-old tradition based on nutrition and ethics.
Human beings eat meat. Get used to it. Good grief…ever heard of evolution?
This is just such a bizarre article. The supposed premise is that a vegetarian mother is upset because as her child moves into preschool, she’s being introduced to the concept of meat and the fact that people eat it. She’s jumped through crazy hoops to keep this info away from her daughter, including changing song lyrics and avoid Dr. Sues, but then we find out that her husband is a “committed omnivore.” WTF? Unless mommy is making him eat in the backyard, her daughter already knows about the existence of meat the fact that some people, including her own father, eat it! So what we actually have here is an article about a grown-up complaining that she has to explain the particulars about her diet to other adults in her employ. We have pearl-clutching and near-fainting because not everyone (and in particular, working-class and minority people) naturally intuits exactly what sort of vegetarian she’s decided her daughter is.
re:Jellybean Jean someone who eats fish, or beef “on occasion” is not a vegetarian.
just because someone wants to call themselves something, does not make it so.
Well said, Annabella.
My take on vegetarians (that are not vegetarian for religious or allergy-related reasons) is that when you get down to brass tacks, they are just picky eaters. Instead of being grateful for a meal served to them at a friend’s house, they turn it down if there are ingredients they just don’t like to eat. This isn’t to say that the vegetarians I know don’t try to be considerate but when it comes down to it, they require special attention. From my perspective, this writer is raising her child to be a picky eater– something that most parents work and hope to avoid.
As an aside, I agree with the writer and the commenters who say children should be more aware and connected to where their food comes from. My children (ages 6 and 2) have no problem understanding that a cute chicken or a beautiful salmon we catch in the river in Alaska can also be our dinner. It’s a way of showing your kids the extraordinary beauty of nature– this amazing fish fighting it’s way upstream becomes part of your body when you eat it.
It’s no more cruel to me to eat a salmon than it is for a bear to eat a salmon.
My take on people who don’t eat horse meat, dog meat, dolphin, whale and insects is that they are just picky eaters. They should just be grateful for a source of protein, instead of turning down ingredients they don’t like.Seriously. Humans eat meat, except for the ones that don’t. Humans eat all kinds of meat, except for the ones that don’t. And quite a few of the ones that don’t decided that having a soul and a conscience and options allows – or even requires – that they make make different choices than a bear or a scavenger or a cannibal. I remember learning where my meat came from before I hit kindergarten. If I’d been in charge of the kind of food that got put on the table, I would have become vegetarian then. My preschooler understands that we don’t eat animals at our house because we like animals, and she emphatically agrees that we should not eat them.But back to the original story here. If she mistakenly eats a hot dog thinking it’s a tofu pup, or gets some fish paste on her noodles, I’m not going to freak. She knows other people eat meat, including people she really loves and looks up to, and that it is their decision. This isn’t about keeping her body pure. It’s about doing our best to make our own kind and ethical decisions every day.
Your behavior is becoming more like an obsession, and I don’t know how healthy it is to transmit that to a little girl. She may develop some kind of eating disorder.
I became an enemy of too many soy products since my friend’s boyfriend was developing boobs from too much soy milk…
You really think soy milk was the problem? Not all those Snickers bars?
Hi anon. Nice parody. Anyway, if we lived in a country that ate horsemeat etc, I would eat it and not ask for something else to be served. Or, maybe, I wouldn’t eat it if I didn’t like it but I surely would not assume accommodations would be made for my tastes.
I like to eat healthy, fresh food at home and I am lucky to have the money to do so. But when I’m at my friends’ house I eat Stouffers because that is what they eat. I hope my kids grow up to do the same.
The argument from conscience is shaky. If, as humans, we are a different class than animals (having self-awareness, souls and morality), then the very disparity between humans and animals indicates we can eat them. One can decide not to, but it is surely not a matter of ethics, like cannibalism is. On the other hand, if we consider ourselves to be the same as animals, then we can eat them too, just like the scavengers and hunters.
BTW, why are you assuming aul’s boyfriend is a tub of lard? Pretty insulting.
So when it comes down to it, Lily, you wouldn’t eat it, so by your own reasoning you would therefore somehow require special attention. Picky, picky.I don’t see how having a soul, a conscience, and options, as I worded it, therefore “dictates” that I must eat meat. Where is the logic in that? People can make up their own mind about whether it is ethical to eat any kind or all kinds of meat, but that hardly means it’s not a matter of ethics.Do you really think animals don’t have self awareness? Several studies have suggested that a variety of animals from magpies to elephants do have self awareness. What most animals don’t have is options. And FWIW, Aul isn’t talking about her boyfriend, and she’s making assumptions about what gave him his shape. I’m questioning her assumptions.
lily-”It’s no more cruel to me to eat a salmon than it is for a bear to eat a salmon.”The issue is quality of life. I was born and raised in Alaska. I love fishing and eating fish. I have many friends and family who hunt, or who raise their own chickens. I do not have the capacity to kill a chicken or a moose, and my belief is that if you are not prepared to kill it, and you have no business eating it. I really have no problem with people eating meat as long as they are conscientious about where it comes from. However, it is one thing to eat an animal that has lived a wild free life, or at least a reasonably comfortable domesticated life, then it is to eat an animal raised in a tiny pen, who has been pumped full of antibiotics and hormones, killed without respect, and butchered unhygienically in a way that promotes the spread of disease. Yes, humans are animals, and as a species, we evolved on an omnivorous diet. However, we have a choice. We can choose to eat meat that is born of unimaginable pain and suffering, or not.
Wow. Some of the messages on here just show how willfully ignorant most Americans are about where there food comes from. I don’t eat most meat, or animal products for that matter, because the American food system is totally unhealthy. Picky about what goes in my mouth? Yup. And my kids’ mouths, too? You betcha. I’m their protector and have every right and responsibility to make sure that they’re not eating foods that will do them harm.
Do I think people should eat meat? Sure. But what most Americans eat each day is truly sickening. You’re catching salmon in the river in Alaska? Good for you. But if you’re picking it up at your local grocery store, it’s likely full of all sorts of disgusting preservatives, hormones, and other unhealthy things. Meat in America healthier? Give me a break. And acting like it’s “evolution” to be a meat eater is laughable. There are plenty of carnivorous animals – and even some plants – and I’m willing to bet that not a one of them is smarter than I am.
Catmom, my point is that I would *not* require special attention because I wouldn’t let my host know that I did not like their food. I’d eat or not eat what I wanted to but I wouldn’t say in advance, “Um, I don’t eat meat.”
You also missed my point about ethics. I didn’t say having a conscience “dictates” that we should eat meat. I said there is no ethical dilemma about killing an animal if humans are considered to be in a different class. There are definitely ethical decisions about how to kill them and responsibilities about how to care for them but if humans are different, then de facto– it isn’t murder to kill them for food. (and if we are considered to be just a part of the food chain, then it also isn’t murder to kill them. my point is that either way, it is morally okay to eat animals.)
but, you’re right about Aul– it’s not her boyfriend, but her friend’s boyfriend.
Mamajess, there is a difference in how we are defining pickiness. I’m with you on choosing healthy foods for ourselves and our kids. However, I think that being gracious toward our friends is more important that the occasional unhealthy or meat-filled meal. It is a vegetarian’s choice to not eat meat but it bothers me when that choice is foisted upon their friends. If it were me, I would eat the rice or the salad or whatever and not comment in advance or while at the event that I do not and will not eat the roast beast. But, I agree that the US food industry is horrible.
Esther, very well said. One point though– you might not have the personal capacity to hunt your own moose but someone you know might– a family member or friend. It is reasonable, even within a very traditional farming/hunting community, for there to be a division of labor.
Catmom, you raise an interesting point about self-awareness in animals. I think people have different responsibilities to different types of animals– for instance, it seems unethical to keep a chimp or gorilla or elephant in a zoo but a fish in an appropriately sized aquarium is probably okay.
i don’t think this is about vegetarianism at all.it’s about who is watching your child, and the guilt for leaving her in the care of a score of perfectly-fine-maybe-but-not-you caregivers.If you want to know every calorie your child eats, stay home full time, and homeschool. It’s honestly not a bad gig.And you can make all your bread from scratch, and buy only free range foods, and you and she can happily be veggie together 24/7
My husband has been a strict vegetarian since he was 13 and I eat little meat. When we expected our daughter we did tons of research, debated, interviewed other vegetarian parents and talked with experts. After 9 months + 6 months (Exclusively breastfeeding bought us some time) of weighing the pros and cons we concluded differently than you.
Kindergarten was actually one of our main cons. How do you explain to a two year old that, -”No you can’t taste the lovely ham and tomato pizza Jennys mom had made for all the kids today. You don’t eat meat you see?” Or, later, when you got the whole “meat is murder” thing down, what about dinners at grandma? “Is she a murderer too mommy?” (Actual qoute from a friends 4 year old)
We simply choose that food would not be an issue in our house. At home we eat vegetarian. At birthday parties, kindergarten, palydates etc our daughter eats exactly the same as all the other kids. Granted, since she doesn’t eat it too often, our daughter actually spits out the ham from the pizza exclaiming “yuck! I don’t like meat” and prefers soy burgers to actual meat burgers.
This way, being different is her own choice.
I’ve been waiting for years for the second and far more crucial and meaningful part of the factory farms are immoral, the US food supply is unsafe, meat is murder, etc…argument. That second part is: how, using “green” techinques and free range and on antibiotics and no small pens, do you feed six billion human beings?
Who’s going to offer up that part? Otherwise it’s just blowing wind. 95% of the earth’s population cannot afford the increased price of food that has been raised in such a way. And…there simply isn’t enough space to grow food for six billion people in any other way.
If you have the answers, I’d love to hear them. Until then…if you can afford to shop at Whole Foods, good for you, it probably is healthier, but keep your mouth shut about it unless you have a real world solution.
I love meat and I think it’s just natural to eat beef. With the way our society is, we cannot just go and hunt a cow give her a nice death and eat it, we are too many. Being vegetarian is not “natural” but there are many other things that I do that are not natural either, like brushing my teeth or using deodorant…
One thing I haven’t gotten, and no one’s every been able to explain to me, in regard to the arguement that meat is full of artificial things. Any time I pass by the vegetarian/vegan sections in the grocery store there’s a litany of tofu items that are made to taste like chicken/fish/beef.
Obviously they’re not using chicken/fish/beef to flavor the tofu, so it’s ARTIFICIALLY flavored to taste like the meat that some refuse to eat because of all the artificial etc things put in.
So why is it ok to eat vegetables filled with artificial things, while meat filled with artificial things are strictly tabu?
mrb1-At the end of the day, I think it is a lot more important to eat a local sustainable diet than to eat vegetarian. And for some people, that means eating a diet high in meat. I am from Alaska, and for the indigenous people here, eating meat isn’t simply a tradition or a way of life it is a necessity. PETA came to Alaska a few years ago and asked Native groups to give up hunting marine mammals, which I found really culturally insensitive and ignorant. After all, Alaska Natives had hunted marine mammals sustainably for thousands of years before European fur traders and whalers showed up and decimated the populations. However, for the majority of American families it would actually cheaper and more sustainable to eat a balanced vegetarian diet than a meat based one. Dried legumes, rice, beans, are all very inexpensive, healthy, and a good source of protein. Nuts are pretty expensive, granted, but you can buy them on sale and stock up. Fruits and veggies are the most expensive, but that is just as true for a vegetarian diet as it is for a non-vegetarian diet. Those processed veggie dogs, soy burgers, etc are an expensive waste of money and I don’t actually know any vegetarians who actually eat that stuff. As far as the global food crisis is concerned, factory farming is hardly an answer. After all, a cow must be fed 4.8 pounds of grain for every pound of meat it produces. A piece of farmland can support the dietary requirements of a lot more people by growing wheat, corn, soybeans, etc then by being used for raising cattle. The answer to producing enough food for all of the World’s population would appear to be using more farmland for grain production and less for raising livestock.
esther…some good points. but it’s not really feasible to suggest that human beings, as a species, go vegetarian. That’s basically what you are saying in your last paragraph. As with the Aleutian people in Alaska, human beings are omnivores…we eat the flesh of other animals…just like most species of mammal. Gotta be another way. Still, you’re right from what I know about the ratio of feed to finished product in cattle.
Both my parents became vegetarian in college (lacto-ovo), and so my two sisters and I were all raised vegetarian from day one. As far back as I can remember, I knew why we were vegetarian and believed in it passionately in my own right. My parents were very careful to make sure we knew that everyone has to be allowed to make their own choices about this issue. “Different families do different things” they used to say, “but in our family we have decided that we don’t want to eat meat if we don’t need to.” We would talk sometimes about how if we were starving on a desert island, we would of course eat whatever we could find – even animals – but since we’re not starving, we have choices. And we don’t want to hurt animals unnecessarily. It is a pretty simple but powerful lesson that I think children, who are often naturally inclined to sympathize with other living things, can easily understand.
Many people have asked me, “have you ever been tempted to try meat?” I
understand their curiosity I suppose, but from my perspective it seems
like such an odd question. Have I ever been tempted to try my dog or
my grandmother? I wouldn’t dream of such a thing. Many people bristle when I tell them I was raised vegetarian. “Your parents *forced* you to be vegetarian?” they say accusingly. No more than other parents “forced” their children to eat meat. So often this question is phrased as though children will rebel against vegetarianism, but I think that misses the point. Of course no one likes to feel forced to do things arbitrarily, but it is quite a different thing when they understand the reasons behind the choice. My parents were very big on explaining why – why is it important to wear seatbelts, why is it important to share toys, why is it important to say thank you, and in this case, why is it important to be kind to animals. I think many children can be surprisingly thoughtful when treated with this sort of respect.
As some of the posters have pointed out, there comes a time in the life of a young vegetarian when they realize for the first time that people they love and respect have not made the same choices. I remember my little sister bursting into tears when she found out my grandmother sometimes ate meat. It is a hard thing for a kid to understand, there is no doubt about it. But that is part of growing up, part of learning that the world is not as simple and straight-forward as it seems like it should be. While dealing with being a vegetarian in a non-vegetarian world can at times be awkward socially, some things are just more important. As long as you teach your child the importance of being respectful of other people’s choices, these challenges are not a reason to avoid being vegetarian.
Personally I feel that growing up vegetarian was one of the greatest gifts my parents have given me. I almost certainly would have come to it on my own at some point anyway, but as it happened, I never had to struggle to make the switch. Who knows how much is due to chance, but the fact is that I and my sisters have grown up healthier and stronger than average. I was consistently in the 90 percentile for height but 50th percentile for weight all throughout my childhood. Despite having extended family members who struggle with frighteningly high cholesterol, everyone in my immediate (vegetarian) family is in the healthy range. And while I was always conscious that I was different – and people (especially middle school boys) liked to tease me about it from time to time – I was actually immensely proud and grateful for who I was in this respect. Not because I thought I was better than other people, but simply because I knew in my heart why I was vegetarian, I believed in it, I cared deeply about being thoughtful and humane. And I wouldn’t have changed for the world.
This article was great! I, too, am trying to raise a vegetarian child. She’s only one, and I feel like the battle has already begun. Questions, concerns, etc. Thankfully, my pediatrician’s daughter is a vegetarian, so that helps.MKMP–I think you wrote a beautiful comment…it was great to hear your perspective, and it makes me want to raise my daughter vegetarian even more.I can’t believe how rude people are to the author! I think that maybe they’re all so mean because they KNOW that deep down vegetarian is the better way to go so they’re feeling a little defensive. And perhaps they’re a bit more cruel because they eat meat! I’m just saying…But seriously, anyone with a brain knows that vegetarian is the way to go. Science backs up the health and environmental concerns with eating meat–you just can’t deny facts! But so many people continue to do so and act like eating meat is no big deal. It IS a big deal, and perhaps one day people will take the time to learn the facts and know that from an environmental, health, and ethical standpoint, it really is not good to eat meat.
Oh VeggieMom, you gave me a chuckle.
Hahahaha…a “bit more cruel” because they eat meat? That’s funny. Our species eats meat. If you choose not to that’s fine, but how patently ridiculous to insinuate that it’s cruel to do what is natural for the homo sapiens species. Have you heard of the concept of evolution? We are animals and we eat other animals. Get used to it and drop your holier than thou position. You’re the odd one.
Two words: Bento Box. I have a preschooler (meat eating) and in her lunchbox there are often rice balls in the shape of bunnies and watermelon chunks in the shape of dinosaurs, strawberry mice, and monster-face sandwiches. It’s pretty easy to put together a vegetarian lunch for a preschooler that’s the envy of all her friends! There are tons of gadgets, books, websites, and cool lunch boxes out there to help.
Funny how some people want to eat the flesh of dead animals so they throw up the theory of evolution and act as if they are compelled to eat meat. It does no one any good to keep their head in the sand (see no evil, hear no evil…). We have been given brains – we should use use them, right?? Look into factory farming and how eating animals affects your health (and the health of your children) and then decide. You can read Jonathan Safran Foer’s new book on the subject Eating Animals or go to http://www.vegsource.com/ or The Physicians Committee for responsible Medicine http://www.pcrm.org/ to learn more.
I think the problem here goes beyond pro-veg or anti-veg and right to either poor writing or poor editing. If the audience can’t tell whether the author’s tone is tongue-in-cheek, hyperbole, or an actual serious OCD problem, there’s an issue.
Was this a parody? If so it fell flat.The suggestion that making informed choices about food is the exclusive territory of vegetarians is insulting. There are many meat eating children who haven’t tasted hot dogs, bologna or seen the inside of a McDonalds-I’m raising two of those children. Is righteousness exclusive to vegetarians too?
My whole family eats all kinds of meat, my grandparents are still alive, and some of them over 85. We are not overweight and never had cancer in the family (knock on wood), so meat cannot be that bad.
Good for people that want to be vegetarians… I think it’s just more work, not healthier. I understand if some people get gross out by eating animals. There are some animals I would not eat.
LearnMore: “some people want to eat the flesh of dead animals…”? Some people. Most of the six billion people on this earth eat meat doughrock. Go have a tofu burger and shut it.
Good lord, grow up, and worry about something that actually matters.
It’s like you think your kid is going to keel over and die if he even sniffs meat. This kind of over-parenting makes me furious. I’ll bet your the kind of person who makes visitors rub their hands with anti-bacterial gel before they can touch your kid. Get a life.
Science has proven that our modern bodies and brains did not develop until our ancestors figured out how to cook and consume meat. When your body has so little nutrients it has to put all its efforts into just staying alive, there’s precious little left over for silly little things like language development. Way to turn back the clock on millions of years of evolution.
This is a well-written article. I disagree with you being controlling. I saw the humour in your writting. It doesn’t make you controlling it makes you an amazing writer. Keep up the good work!!!
Whirlagirl is easily amused if she thought this was a well written article. The parody was flat and rather than funny it came off as overly hysterical.
I’m disappointed with the Babble editors once again.
she thinks dr. seuss had it in for her? lol. c’mon!
why is this annoying story still posted?
Kudos for you. I intent to raise my kids vegan. In comparison vegetarian isn’t easy, and those who oppose.. what’s the hostility for? Is someone taking your meat away from you? What’s so wrong with a cruelty free diet?
There are people who raise kids on raw fruit diets so.. keep up the good work!
Hey…… I see where you are coming from and it is great, and yes your child isn’t independent yet, but really…. RELAX this child is her own entity, allow her to be her own person, she is not a little clone of you. I’m just saying, Im a vegetarian too so I see what you hope for her, but really, the world isn’t out to get you or to destroy your baby. Give it a rest woman.
Thanks for sharing. I think you are doing great. My current boyfriend of three years is probably going to become my spouse. We have talked about this a lot. He was once a vegetarian, but went back to being omnivorous. He accepts vegetarianism though. We most likely are going to have vegetarian raised children, and im sure i will get lots of negativity about it. The UPSIDE is im in school for holistic nutrition. Who is going to argue with a nutrition expert? Thats right. Im going to have very healthy kids. Im excited, but yes i know there will be some dilemmas. Most likely, my children may eat meat accidentally at school without realizing, but thats okay. Once they get to an age where they can go out and eat on their own, they can eat whatever they want.
I think raising children vegetarian is unhealthy.
GPS-C29 (hkiwt.com) World smallest GPS tracker for children and pets.GPS-C29 has a tiny size of 61x34x12.5mm,weights 32 gram(1.1 ounce),fits into pocket or backpack.GPS-C29′s tiny size and light weight make it the smallest GPS tracking device(GPS locator) in the market.Easy setup by SMS commands.Support GSM 900,1800,1900MHz.See http://www.hkiwt.com for details. Pet tracking GPS-C29, children tracking GPS-C29 and check hkiwt.com. Handheld GPS locator http://www.hkiwt.com
I only have a five month old but he is being raised veggie! It’s actually healthier than the average meat eaters diet. But when he’s old enough, if he wants he can eat meat. I just won’t cook it for him. But I’m not gonna change nursery rhymes… That’s ridiculous. Do you want your kid growing up with no knowledge of meat?
go to http://andrea.myefoods.com for gourmet vegetarian prepared meals, just add water! They have textured soy protein to ensure your vegetarian is getting enough protein. And at less than $1 a serving, it is way more affordable that most vegetarian food.
i think this was actually pretty hu-larious, and enlightening. I think it’s wonderful what you stand for, i just believe that the reason the medical community hasn’t shown us love is because people are too selfish or just caught up in something (all the time) too just take the time and make sure there kids are healthy. It’s easier to be unhealthy and eat everything in a box so they don’t have to put any work in. So they know it could be dangerous since these kids wouldn’t be recieving adequate amounts of well…Everything. Therefore most likely becoming sick and deficient all around. But your awesome and hurray to you, because you’re not half ass vegetarian,NOT that there’s anything wrong with that because there isn’t too each there own. It’s just hard sometimes especially when your poor and you don’t have the money to be that healthy on a strict veg. diet. Anywho thx.
And the nursery rhymes thing is funny too. I believe they should have knowledge about meat but i don’t think its ridiculous. You’re very passionate about this which is cool as like as your not harming your children it’s all good. thx again