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Catherine Connors

Catherine is a mother, writer, recovering academic, the author of Her Bad Mother, and Editor in Chief of Disney Interactive Family. Read bio and latest posts → Read Catherine's latest posts →

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97 thoughts on “The Worst Celebrity Baby Names

  1. PILOT INSPEKTORS MAMA says:

    I don’t know what the big deal is..I’ll take any of those over Bill, Bob or Tom.As far as the kids being teased when they are older, that usually happens to geeky kids, and it’s usually their equally geeky parents, that are afraid of them being teased, because they grew up being so uncool themselves.Most celebrities have natural swagger, and I’m sure this will be passed on genetically to their kids..so getting teased at school..blah, whatever, they will be too cool for that.

  2. coolteamblt says:

    Ugh. They’re all pretty dang bad. However, Tu Morrow is a girl. Tu Simone.

  3. editors says:

    Thanks coolteam — fixing it now!

  4. onthegrapvine says:

    I heard a rumor that Andre/Eryka’s son is named Seven because it can never be divided by two.

  5. lalamama says:

    Seven can be divided by two – it is 3.5. Apparently they don’t believe in fractions?

  6. beeker says:

    God abhors vacuums and fractions!Apple is a horrible name! I can’t warm to it in any way and I don’t hate most of the weird names. It just doesn’t sound pretty. At least Audio sounds like Mario. Am I weird that I really love Camera? Not that I would name my child that. It just sounds nice when you say it out loud. Zuma is pretty bad too. It sounds like a annoying plastic toy or a bad lifestyle website.

  7. Holly Ann Wood says:

    Jeez!! Apple and Moses should not even be on this list based on the insanity of the other names. I feel bad now for thinking bad things of their mommy and daddy. This list makes Demi and Bruce appear normal with the names they picked. The thing is….I have known people with odd names. As an example, I had a friend named “Trophy”…. after a month of saying it, it is like Lisa or something, not a bid deal. However, I do wonder what the maturity level is of these “celebrity” parents? Are they trying to get attention? Like they need any more attention? Is noting in life serious for them? It just shows how “out of touch” with the real world and very immature most of these people are!!

  8. AnoyingAnon says:

    The Korn frontman is Jonathan Davis and his wife is Deven. You spelled Pirate correctly however.

  9. Plain Jane says:

    Blue Angel is what we used to call it as kids when you lit your fart with a lighter.

  10. Roper says:

    I know I’m waaay in the minority here, but I actually like the name Apple — the sound of it, and the connotation. Still, it’s one of those names that you worry will shape the kid’s destiny. The honorable Judge Apple Martin? Senator Apple Martin? I guess it’s better than most of the other ones on the list.As for Moses: love it. Mose Martin is a kickass name.

  11. NeoPrincess says:

    Don’t forget Jonathan Davis’ other son Zeppelin.

  12. Tess and Finns mom says:

    I like the name Apple too. As for Zuma, my grandmother was named Zuma by her German immigrant parents in the 1920s. However they changed her name to Celeste in the first few years of her life.

  13. Apple Zuma says:

    This about sums it up for me… http://www.youjustmademylist.com/?p=511

  14. Alice says:

    Zuman is the name of the new President of South Africa. Maybe that is who they named him or her, whatever it is, after. I like Nestea though. Maybe htey got a kickback for product placement on that one. Peanut is the dumbest name ever. Those morons think they are the ONLY people in the world who called their fetus “peanut”? Every freaking body calls their fetus peanut. Camaro is a nice name. Nice car too.

  15. costanza says:

    haven’t you seen seinfeld? seven was mickey mantle’s number.

  16. Ehnonymous Lee says:

    Funny list… although the comment about Calico… I think it’s distasteful to talk about your cat DYING.. these are real people here and while talking about their name is like slowing down to look at a car accident any talk of dying is not classy…

  17. ok with apple says:

    I’m guilty of liking the name Apple too. And she’s got a bunch of normal middle names so she can go by A. Blythe Martin if she wants. The Naked Chef dude named his kids Poppy and Daisy, I think, plus odd middle names. Why doesn’t he ever get mentioned in these lists. And, yes, Poppy and Daisy are just flowers, but Apple? That’s a blossom and a fruit, but kind of a biggie one — old testament and all.Oh, and Bindi Sue, the dead croc guy’s daughter? That’s on a par with Apple.In terms of names of senators and judges, let us not forget names like Thurogood (sp), Lindsay (Graham). Also, I saw a report recently on a Colorado legislator whose name is Bunny or Buffy or something. So, you know, names aren’t actually a deal-breaker.

  18. Kelmendi says:

    People don’t fuss over Poppy and Daisy because they are both actual names. Poppy is unusual, but Daisy is actually pretty common in the UK. And I, for one, wouldn’t have a problem with Apple Martin as a name if it didn’t sound so much like Apple Martini. Because nothing is classier than naming your kid after a trendy mixed drink.

  19. nonny mouse says:

    Inspektor is a very old and respected Hungarian Jewish name. maybe Penn Jillette or the child’s mother have a Hungarian Jewish grandfather or great-grandfather?Pilot, on the other hand….

  20. timmit says:

    The list looses all credibility in my view for not including Frank Zappa’s kids, Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. Ahmet is fine, but the rest…

  21. sfwork says:

    I seriously don’t understand this compulsion to diss’ celebrity’s baby names. Especially Apple. What is the big freakin’ deal that she named her kid after a fruit? People love names like Rain and Leaf and River and Cherry… and Apple. Sounds fine to me.

  22. Joy Filled Girl says:

    The American actress Gretchen Mol has a son named Ptolemy. This name just smacks of intellectual pretense.Sometimes legit names suck, too. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett named their children Willow and Jaden in honour of themselves. Now that is ego.

  23. votetheday says:

    Naming always was a difficult task, because parents understand, that the name will follow their offspring all the life. Names for babies have their fashions too. There were waves of Slavic and Hispanic names, and now aristocratic, or royal names are the newest craze of newborn babies’ parents.What is your opinion on this trend in children’s names? Is it worth to pick aristocratic name for your little stroller king or queen; or is it better to go simple, and, let’s say, start your own family tradition by naming your little wonder by one of the grandparents? – http://www.votetheday.com/society-18/aristocratic-names-300/

  24. Leeandra says:

    On Kal-El: I can say with certainty that Nicolas Cage’s kid has no superpowers or x-ray vision, because he wasn’t looking where he was going and crashed headlong into me once. Cage owns a house in New Orleans a few blocks from where I live and work. I was walking down the street and this little tornado came out of nowhere yelling DADDYDADDYDADDYDADDY and crashed right into my legs and fell over (luckily, he wasn’t hurt). I looked up, and the kid’s daddy was Nicolas Cage. On Apple: A friend’s three-year-old son has an imaginary life which mainly consists of having a career as a race-car driver and having a daughter named “Grape,” and even he thought that “the lady who named her baby Apple was just being silly.”On Kyd: Mr. Duchovny, didn’t your grade school teachers tell you that only goats have kids? And didn’t you learn how to spell somewhere along the line?

  25. ladykatie57 says:

    I’m surprised you didn’t cite Bruce Willis and Demi Moore for their daughters’ names. When I first heard the name “Apple” I immediately thought of a gentleman from our town whose real name was Orange. I kid you not. He’s been dead for years, but he would probably be over 100 by now. I couldn’t help but think how cute it would be if Apple ever had a little brother and they named him Orange. (Just joking), but point being, strange names have been around for years.

  26. IgnatiusReilly says:

    This article is useless. The subject has been done to death. Please stop.

  27. Olden Atwoody says:

    I guess they forgot about Dweezel and Moon Unit Zappa, the kids that started it all.

  28. wawa says:

    Hey! How did one of the originals get left out: Moon Unit Zappa. And while we’re mooning, Soleil Moon Frye wasn’t bad either.

  29. The Sewist says:

    Makes me suspect their parenting skills. Anyone who would do that to a kid makes me wonder. What did that poor kid ever do to you. And it is not just celebs who stick stupid monikers on their kids.

  30. mike says:

    Kyd might refer to the English renaissance Dramatist Thomas Kyd, author of The Spanish Tragedy. He was an influence to Marlowe, Jonson, and Shakespeare.

  31. Cinderella says:

    Wha?  You left Frank Zappa’s kids off the list of AWFUL names? No DWEEZEL?  No MOON UNIT? 

  32. Sparkina says:

    And for crying in manhattan, what about Zowie Bowie?

  33. kido dildo says:

    this is hilarious….they try to gv their children ‘unique’ name but this is not unique… it’s … funny? wht about ‘kiddo dildo’???

  34. Regy says:

    wow nice collection in different name..lol..waheheh..so which name is cool or not or which name do you prefer for your future child?
    Phobia of Public Speaking

  35. Larriann Curtis says:

    Horrible names have been around for years.  My great-great-(great?)-aunt Celestial Faye, for example (I could go on).  We only notice these because the parents are “celebrities”. 

  36. me says:

    for the record, Zowie Bowie is, actually, Duncan Bowie.
    I’ll take Pilot or Pirate any day over another -aden/aiden/ayden name.
    and why pick on the Smiths for naming their kids after themselves? have you not heard of juniors? at least they gave their kids their OWN names, rather than just passing along the exact same moniker, and a title to boot.

  37. Observer says:

    These celebrities who give there kids weird names are self centered idiots who are more interested in getting attention than thinking of how this effects their own children.

  38. Anonymous says:

    thanks for the humourous ideas here

  39. Sarah the boringly named says:

    I actually think Apple is a very cute name ?
    and it took me a while to figure out why “Harley Quinn” was so bad. It’s still a normal name and people who aren’t familiar with the comic might never even get the story behind it.
    She can just go as Harley or Quinn, both very nice names.
    Zuma Nesta Rock, now that’s a bad name. Whatever were they thinking.

  40. Anonymous says:

    I liked Zuma and Apple….. but maybe I’m weird.

  41. Somebody Else says:

    Maybe somebody else has said this, but: Why aren’t Moon Unit and Dweezil (Frank Zappa’s kids; I don’t know the third one) on the list? I’d definitely add them instead of Apple, which I kinda like.

  42. Somebody Else says:

    Yes — now I see somebody beat me to the Zappa names! My apologies.

  43. Anonymous says:

    accident is a good name or trojanbroke

  44. Norwegian says:

    In Norway we have laws against odd names. I think that is a good idea to protect the poor kids that are victimized due to their crazy names.

  45. Lola says:

    I love the name Prince, it’s cute. Prince is Michael’s grandfathers name, he died a shortly before Michael’s son was born, so Michael nick named Michael Jackson, Jr. “Prince” and named Blanket Prince. Plus he is the King Of Pop, so it goes well.

  46. Rhonda Roberts says:

    Regarding the name Seven..I also named my daughter Seven, but I spell it Sevyn.I can’t speak for Erykah Badu but I had a VERY special reason for which I gave my child such a name. In most parts of the world, names are given not for trend. Instead it is given as a means of character identity, or a quality you want your child to have. In my case it was a pregnancy in which I was afraid for the health of my baby. I believed she would be perfect and she was. I honored God for hearing my prayers by naming her Sevyn. (God does everything in multiples of 7-it is a holy number for completion and perfection, mentioned throughout the Bible.) It’s easy to make fun of the things we don’t understand. I would hope a site dedicated to parenting wouldn’t stoop as low as a common tabloid. I’ll look forward to your next piece on sensitivity toward others or the problems gossip causes.

  47. Anonymous says:

    Someone wrote “Reese Witherspoon” below…I hope they google it and realize that’s not her real name.

  48. Samantha says:

    My kid’s name is on there (#14, Calico). We haven’t gotten anything but positive feedback. Ironically, our choice of boy’s name (Sparrow), despite it being a very popular family name for well over a hundred years, is not on this list and we’re still getting comments on how happy everyone is we’re having a girl.

  49. my name is underwear wearer says:

    wow, these poor children have to live with these names for their entire lives. look people, when deciding on a name for a child, keep in mind that they will have to introduce themselves with this name as adults some day. your horrible attempts to come up with a “unique and cleaver” name just prove your horrible taste and selfishness.

  50. Skain says:

    i cant stand apple, its just sounds silly, as do most of the names on the list. seriously, audio science? pilot inspecktor, seriously how out of it were they? XD

  51. Anonymous says:

    jifgudiufiufijdiojfoidjodfjlskjldj

  52. Anonymous says:

    i hate the word i mean apple

  53. Nena Nadine Fisher says:

    I can only agree with you half of the time here. The only names I truly find disturbing for celebrity kids are Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smiths kids Jaden and Willow. If you don’t why it’s because they named them after themselves but in opposite sex form. That’s self centered.

    There is nothing wrong with giving your kid a unique name. If you don’t like it don’t do it. If my mom had her way my name would be Tabitha. I’m thankful for my unique name and personality. Don’t be so judgmental.

  54. Nena Nadine Fisher says:

    I would also like to note that my two half sisters were named Jessica and Melissa because it was the number one baby name the year they were born. While both of them have never shared any dislike for the names themselves they both have shared dislike for the reasoning.

  55. RoseMarie says:

    I agree with most of these but I honestly can’t find fault with Harley Quinn Smith. I think that especially with a common last name you can get away with a more whimsical first name. Reignbeau is criminal.

  56. Rachel says:

    I actually like the name Moxie(not so much the CrimeFighter part) for a girl, it’s cute and different.
    As for Harley Quinn, I know a little girl with that name, it’s not that uncommon.
    Some of the names are silly and off the deep end, but as long as the parents are happy and especially the child is happy, then no harm done. Who cares what critics think?

  57. Anonymous says:

    siriously i feel bad for those kids..even tho they have rich parents, its a shame they named their kids like this…

  58. Debra Flannigan-Bauer says:

    Wow, are they nuts!Has all that money just went to their heads,I also like unique names,But think of what they will go at school thats right they have nannys,go to rich privite schools, and their parents dont really raise them its the nannys job. when I HAD MY Daughter 30 years ago Iput a lot of thought into her name and time thinking what to name her,then her Father saw in the paper a clip about 100 years ago today there was a ship docked in puget sound in the 18 hundreds named the Andelana. and that was it we named her Andelana Ashley(ashley) after his father. she didnt like it when she was young but now she loves it Her dads mother found her a book called ( Tall ships on puget sound and gave it to her on her 16th birthday I think people should spend a bit more time on their childs name they have to live with it forever. thanks capdeb927@netzero.com

  59. phanna1977 says:

    what about moon unit and dweezel

  60. boopbaboop says:

    and just think, these people vote. its sad that celebritys are so dumb.

  61. snowmancoltor says:

    Stars are so weird. That is why they are stars because they could NEVER hold a real job. They are so out there look at Charlie Sheen he has some serious issues. The money they make gives them the right to be above all of us and to name there children stupid names.

  62. Anonymous says:

    You forgot Dweezil & Moon Unit Zappa.

  63. imsoawesomenournotdudedontlie says:

    omg thts so wired

  64. Vivian says:

    number 27: isn’t it also the type of romance novel?

  65. randomgurl101 says:

    i once knew a child named Nosmo King!!!!!

  66. rae says:

    I gotta say, having named my daughter Wren (with nearly all positive feedback – the only person who didnt like it was my mom, and only while we were pregnant. Now she loves it), Apple is NOT the worst celebrity baby name out there.

    my best friend gave me the name Albert Ross for a boys name…she was still going off the bird theme…Albertross..Albatross…yeah >.>

  67. Robert Oriol says:

    I’m sorry but if you’re named “Pirate” you’re destined to live a life of badassery.

  68. Naomi says:

    I know someone with the name Diesel Fuelings

  69. CP says:

    Add Alicia Silverstone with a child just named Bear Blu

    http://www.tvguide.com/news/alicia-silverstone-baby-1032895.aspx

  70. Eru Roraito Sherlock says:

    I kinda of like Reignbeau lol, cute spelling and all. Omg I wonder what Pink is going to name her baby? Uh, Camera? Seriously? Lol I have a cousin called Rebel, but it’s a shame for the ones with Inspecktor and Crimefighter, badass? I don’t think so.

  71. SAM says:

    i knew a kid named Bata and her last name was Fish NO JOKE

  72. Anonymous says:

    I actually worked with the mom/wife and her name is debon aire…. debonair…. apparently its a family tradition to do this to your child. I wasn’t surprised when I heard what they named their daughter. Have a friend who grew up with eileen anna land. I lean on a cane… no joke!

  73. Anonymous says:

    i knew a girl named Tramp Hoe…no joke lol

  74. Pinwheel says:

    I agree with all of these, except the Myleene Klass one, “Hero.” Sorry, but if it comes from a play written by Shakespeare (“Much Ado About Nothing”), no fair calling it weird.

  75. Gerry says:

    That’s 2 celevr by half and 2×2 clever 4 me. Thanks!

  76. Geri says:

    I bow down humbly in the presence of such gretaness.

  77. Garzaster says:

    I quite like Mars as a name.

  78. Tangie says:

    AFAIC that’s the best awnser so far!

  79. Melloney says:

    If you want to get read, this is how you sohlud write.

  80. Lurraine says:

    Thanks guys, I just about lost it looknig for this.

  81. Nstyliadis says:

    Rosemary…this is a great site to emphasize your point about babynames!

  82. Noreen Styliadis says:

    Rosemary…this is a great link that emphasizes your point about the baby names! My favorite was Penn Gillette’s daughter: Moxie Crimefighter!!!

  83. Random Parenting says:

    Here’s some advice to celebrities naming their kids http://babies.com/advice-to-celebrities-on-baby-names/.

  84. gilz says:

    michael jackson’s first son’s actual name is Michael Joseph Jackson II nickname “prince” so get your facts straight

  85. Loco says:

    Many countries have passed laws to protect children from such stupidity, apparently US has not.

  86. Della says:

    Congratulations to Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan on the birth of Retard, the newest addition to the family! Rebel, Racer, Rocket, Rogue, and Rhiannon are so lucky to have a new sibling. Welcome to the world, Retard Caligula Rodriguez! You are loved.

  87. Darian says:

    Methinks the boringly-named doth complain too much.

  88. Elizabeth Ramirez says:

    they are fun to read for now but i feel bad for these kids later on… why purposely subject your kids to bulling and teasing for their name or even a life of explaining… yes thats my real name…
    were not talking about an antiquated old family name or old name in general where there is a real purpose for it…

  89. Rich says:

    I bet the name Seven is from the Seinfeld episode. It aired in 1996 and the kid was born in 1997….hmmmm

  90. Ashleym says:

    Princess is actually a very common name in the African community, I work with someone named Princess.

  91. ummyeah says:

    erykah badu and andre benjamin are into african spirituality and in many other religions and faiths 7 is the number of perfection, and or the number of the divine

  92. Neisha Geez says:

    Seven means God in the supreme mathematics.. Plain and simple. People are looking waay to deep into it lol.

  93. lolcats says:

    i know this girl named Avalon, her brother is Chevy and her sister is Malibu

  94. Sara says:

    I actually like Rogue, Seven and Harley Quinn. The worse name I think I’ve heard would be a girl named Whizdom Cheese. I can’t imagine poor Cheese Whiz ever getting a job. I think her mom was on crack or something… She changed her name later, fortunately, though…

  95. Ash says:

    I love Jonathan Davis’ kids names. I think Pirate and Zepplin are cute. He calls Zepplin ‘Zeppy’ for short.

  96. My name is dumba-- couch--retard--event says:

    It does not look smart or clever to name your child a “unique or clever name”. Instead, it looks really dumb and like you’re trying to hard. What’s wrong with a regular name? We don’t need to be naming kids after objects, fruits, or other material things. It’s ridiculous. All these names just make me realize how dumb celebrities really are. The best names are the names that don’t draw attention to themselves. We are not put on this earth to be self-centered, worshiped, humans. We are put on this earth to love each other and not cause attention to ourselves. There are way better names than to resort to butchering the English language and naming your kid after an idea or object. How sad for the kid.

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