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6 Pearls of “Wisdom” from Alicia Silverstone’s New Parenting Book

Alicia Silverstone attends The Alicia Silverstone Book Signing at Barnes & Noble in Los Angeles

Actress Alicia Silverstone has released a new book called The Kind Mama: A Simple Guide to Supercharged Fertility, a Radiant Pregnancy, a Sweeter Birth, and a Healthier, More Beautiful Beginning. Although I haven’t read the book myself, her excerpts tell me that it’s full of advice on attachment parenting, treating postpartum depression, vaccinations, and more.

Simply put, Alicia Silverstone has got a lot to say when it comes to the topic of parenting, but I’m not sure if everyone out there is willing to listen. I mean, really, forget going to your doctor when a former movie star can help cure your “PMS, insomnia, allergies, breakouts, weight struggles, thyroid condition, lupus, and multiple sclerosis” while significantly lowering your risk of heart diseases, diabetes, and cancer.

No, I’m not kidding here, but I wish I were.

Here are 6 highlights from her book (you might want to jot these down with a pencil… and have your eraser on hand):

1. We should stay away from meat, dairy and processed foods:

“Meat, dairy, and processed foods” should be avoided, she says, because they are “tracking toxic sludge through your baby house.”

2. We should swap medicine for plants:

Eating plants during pregnancy, writes Silverstone, “means not only boosting the odds of conceiving but also setting the stage for a transcendent pregnancy, a smoother birth, a healthier baby, and long-term protection from almost every disease there is.” By eating “kind foods”— plant-based foods — women can “supercharge fertility; reduce your likelihood of miscarriage; infuse breast milk with all kinds of nutrient goodness that make your kids smart and healthy; and help stave off diseases like cancer, heart disease, diabetes.” According to doctors vetted by Silverstone, kind foods “can demolish your need for pharmaceutical drugs, especially for the treatment of things like depression, type 2 diabetes, and hypertension.”

3. Breast milk is the ultimate cure-all and antibiotic:

Silverstone writes that “aside from giving your baby every single health advantage there is at mealtime, breast milk is also the ultimate cure-all for almost every ailment that might come up in baby’s early days. It’s a natural antibiotic and has almost otherworldly power to both soothe and heal.” The movie star advises non-movie star moms to enlist the help of a lactation consultant in the event that they have trouble breastfeeding. “The $100 or $200 you spend to help you establish a fruitful, long-term nursing relationship will ultimately save you money, whether on formula or medical costs down the road.”

4. We should stop using tampons:

According to Silverstone, tampons might be making you infertile: “[Y]our chichi is the most absorbent part of your body. Unfortunately, feminine-care manufacturers aren’t required to tell you what’s in their products, which means that no one’s talking about the potential pesticide residues from non-organic cotton and the ‘fragrances’ containing hormone-upsetting, fertility-knocking phthalates that are snuggling up to your hoo-ha.”

5. Mothers should strive to become potty whisperers:

Silverstone’s child was potty-trained at six months, an apparently seamless process that involved reading his facial expressions and other “cues about his need to pee or poop.” She noticed that “when Bear looked like he was flirting with me, smiling sweetly, or looking deep into my eyes, he’d be peeing.” Another signal was when he would “stare off into space for a second.” She assures readers that it’s “not all guesswork” and if you’re really in tune with your maternal instincts, then you too may start referring to yourself as a “potty whisperer.” And there are myriad benefits for EC-trained babies, who are “much more content leaving their business in the grass than having to sleep and eat accompanied by their own pee and poo.” An added bonus? Kind mamas can avoid funneling money into the “multibillion-dollar” disposable diaper industry, which is “fueled by corporate-backed pseudoscience.”

6. Some babies are never the same after vaccines:

“According to Drs. Roizen and Oz… While there has not been a conclusive study of the negative effects of such a rigorous one-size-fits-all, shoot-’em-up schedule, there is increasing anecdotal evidence from doctors who have gotten distressed phone calls from parents claiming their child was ‘never the same’ after receiving a vaccine. And I personally have friends whose babies were drastically affected in this way.”

Phew. That was a lot to handle in a few short blurbs, wasn’t it?

Now, while I do appreciate Alicia’s campaign here in trying to make the world a greener, safer place for mommies and their babies, not all of her advice can be used and applied to regular mothers who don’t have the 24/7 nanny staff, bank accounts, and support system that most Hollywood mothers have. As far as I can tell, tampons are not murdering women, not every woman has the $100 or $200 to spend for a lactation consultant (especially after paying for those outrageous hospital deductibles after giving birth!), and quite personally, I would rather leave my vaccination questions and thyroid concerns with my child’s pediatrician or a trusted member of the medical field.

Plus, not every working mama has the time to sit around all day and wait for her child’s facial expressions via elimination communication to tell her when her baby’s ready to pee and poo, and especially not at 6 months old. I just don’t have the right kind of daily staff (housekeeper, part-time nanny, on-call assistant, and personal chef) to release me of the time I need to run my household.

So again, Alicia Silverstone, thank you for your thoughts, advice and judgment on how I can become a more environmentally friendly, tampon-less Earth mama but I’ve already got half of my relatives and the peanut gallery telling me everything I’m doing wrong with parenting. And by the way, I’m taking my kids to Chipotle for lunch today.

Photos via PacificCoastNews.com

Want more of Joanna’s pop culture ramblings? Follow her on Twitter!

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