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An Open Letter to Celeb Moms-To-Be: Think Before You Name Your Baby!

Natalie portman bump watch

What will Natalie Portman name her baby?

Dear Celebrity Mom-to-be,

As you prepare for your little one to make his or her way into the world, I’d like to give you a little bit of advice.

I know that you want your baby to have a unique name. After all, the world will be waiting to hear the big announcement of just what you will be calling your baby. And your baby will have many headlines, thanks to your fame. So, you want to be sure to pick the right name.

You now have to live up to the legacy that your peers have left you: starting with Gwyneth’s Apple all the way to Mariah Carey’s Moroccan and Monroe to Alicia Silverstone’s Bear. I know the pressure is on for you to come up with something equally unusual.

But, before you choose a name that the world will mock, please take these points into consideration:

1. Your child already has to deal with living under a microscope, just by being born to you, Mrs. Famous Mom. Don’t give people any more to gossip about by giving your baby a bizarre name.

2. Kids are cruel. Even if you think that your celeb coolness will keep your child protected from bullies, you are wrong. Kids are cruel and they’ll tease your kids for having a funny name, even if you are a mega-superstar.

3. Most of you don’t have a bizarre name, either. So, why do that to your kids? You still reached stardom despite the fact that your elementary teachers had been able to pronounce your names during roll call.

4. You’re probably already giving your children reasons to need therapy later in life. Don’t add to the reasons they’ll tell their therapists that they hate you.

5. Want to be unique? Stand out from your peers by actually choosing a name that doesn’t make people laugh.

Are you listening, celeb moms-to-be? Choose a baby name wisely!

Photo: Pacific Coast News

PS. Maybe Babble can help: Baby Name Trends, Meanings, and More!

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