Can they milk the Real Housewives of New York City Season 3 any further? I mean, why not have a Reunion Part 4 simply to discuss the Lost Footage program? Well, I for one, am glad they are dragging the whole thing out, although I think we can all agree that some of the lost footage should have indeed remained lost. But without further pontificating, here are my favorite moments:
#1. Kelly lectures Sonja on getting liposuction, while Sonja is still lying in bed recovering and on pain meds. “What are you going to tell your daughter?” Kelly asks. “That Mommy was too lazy and didn’t want to work out so she got liposuction?” (Lazy is better than crazy any day in my book and perhaps she should just worry about the welfare of her own kids…)
#2. Jill promises her husband sex in exchange for jewelry (collective ewww please!). As Jill shops for her own expensive birthday present with Bobby in tow, she decides a diamond encrusted watch isn’t enough. She says she’s “feeling jewelry,” telling her long-suffering husband: “If I’m feeling jewelry you might be feeling something good later.” Let’s take a second to erase the visuals from our mind, shall we?
#3. We see Jill’s daughter Allyson studying with her private ACT tutor and we get a lecture from Jill on how Allyson is competing with the “best gene pool” because they live in Manhattan (the rest of the country is comprised of a bunch of bumpkins apparently) and then Jill says: “Allyson is my only child so I’m putting all my eggs in her basket.” No pressure Allyson!
#4. Alex is going to be in a fashion show. Ramona’s friend Marla has a hard time believing this. Ramona assures Marla it’s for charity so it’s “not as a real model.” Marla replies, “Oh that makes more sense.” Then the two of them join Simon in the front row and make fun of Alex, saying she can’t walk correctly and she looks terrified. Oblivious, Alex is grateful Ramona stayed to watch her.
#5. Ramona throws herself a birthday party right before she throws herself a pre-vow renewal trip to St. John. Ramona barks orders out at people demanding where they sit. Jill moves place cards around so Kelly can sit next to her. Ramona doesn’t like this. Jill gets yelled at. Kelly, in a lucid moment says: “It’s a celebration. People should sit where they want, not be confined to their ‘Ramona chair.'”
#6. Ramona visits her dermatologist for a “perspiration problem” with Sonja in tow. She says with a straight face, that this doctor is helping her put off plastic surgery as long as possible. Because apparently she thinks we believe she’s had no plastic surgery. Whatever the doctor sucks out of Ramona’s armpits is so disgusting that Sonja is the one who needs the juice box post-procedure. Ramona is fine, because she’s used to having things sucked out of her.
#7. At Ramona’s self-thrown birthday party, Alex asks Kelly if she’s excited for the St. John trip. Kelly says: “I’m nervous, because, like everyone is so unpredictable — and I’m, like, so normal.” Ba da bum! Except I think she was serious.
#8. The group attends a fashion / shopping event. Bethenny’s fiance Jason is looking at clothes and she tells him: “Look what Simon is getting and get the opposite.”
#9. A designer says “Kelly is built like an Olympic athlete” to which Kelly responds, briefly self-aware: “Too bad my mind’s not!”
#10. Luann and Sonja come to Kelly’s house for wine and cheese before the three of them go out for dinner. Kelly serves a bowl of jelly beans along with the cheese. Kelly thinks this is, like, normal.
What did I miss? Favorite moments anyone? Read here who I predict will be back for Season 4 — and why.