We’ve brought you 10 star pairs we thought would make adorable offspring (although we’re rethinking Sandra and Jesse at this point). This time around, we’re dishing on the Hollywood couples who should not, under any circumstance, procreate. Please. – Jen Genova
Heidi & Spencer Pratt
Because we can’t bear the thought of paparazzi-staged play-dates or the risk of a baby boy inheriting Spencer’s peach-fuzz “mustache” someday.
Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher
Because we’re still sort of weirded out by their public displays of Twitter foreplay and the fact that his step-daughters had major crushes on him.
Amy Winehouse & Blake Fielder-Civil
Because although the thought of a baby beehive makes us laugh a little, it would be CRUEL. Also, Mom & Dad drug habit? Not good.
Pink & Carey Hart
Because if this on/off couple named their dog, F*cker, can you imagine what they’d call their kids?
Adrianne Curry & Christopher Knight
Because we have about oh, zero interest in tuning into a show called My Fair Brady and Baby.
Madonna & Jesus Luz
Because he fits the role of exotic manny much better, don’t you think?
Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt
Because a baby would only extend the unfortunate publicity stunt of the socialite and her frozen burrito heir boyfriend.
Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon
Because toddler divas in designer shoe collections are so not cute. (Exception: Suri Cruise.)
Jude Law & Sienna Miller
Because Mr. Law should take responsibility for his illegitimate kids first before he starts cranking out any more.
John Mayer & Anybody
Because after those cringe-worthy comments about Jen and Jessica in his tactless Playboy interview, he shouldn’t be setting examples anytime soon.