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Christmas Quotes: Top Ten Funny and Classic Christmas Quotes and Christmas Wishes Messages

christmas quotes, christmas sayings, christmas wishes messages

Christmas quotes and Christmas sayings

Wanting to spread some Christmas cheer with some famous quotes?  Here are the top ten funny and top ten classic Christmas quotes!

Funny Christmas Quotes:

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~Shirley Temple

The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.  ~Joan Rivers

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.  ~Dennis Miller

Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren’t for Christmas, We’d all be Jewish.  ~Benny Hill

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C.  This wasn’t for any religious reasons.  They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.  ~Jay Leno

“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?” ~Arlo Guthrie

Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal dr*g money?” ~Tom Armstrong

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven. ~W. C. Fields

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it.  Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.  ~Richard Lamm

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time.  Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?  ~G.K. Chesterton

Classic Christmas Quotes:

At Christmas, all roads lead home.  ~Marjorie Holmes

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~Harlan Miller

Christmas is a time when you get homesick even when you’re home. ~Carol Nelson

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.  ~Charles Dickens

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.  ~Roy L. Smith

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.  ~Carol Nelson

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.  ~Harlan Miller

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.  ~Erma Bombeck

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.  ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.  ~Washington Irving

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