When it comes to trying to balance your marriage with parenthood, you come to a point when you must pick and choose. Sure, date night with the hubby sounds like a marvelous idea after being stuck at home with three kids all day, but thing #1 has this weird pink bump growing above his eye that you want to keep an eye on before sending him to school for the next morning and thing #2 peed outside his potty and there’s a big mess you have to clean up in the bathroom. Again.
And as much as I do want to go out and enjoy a nice dinner at our local Hibachi restaurant and watch a good flick with Bradley Cooper in it, chances are that I won’t. And I won’t be able to sit and home and relax with my husband at home and watch “Homeland” because he’s either paying bills or finishing up someone’s kindergarten homework and I’m too busy trying to get the other one washed up, brushed up, and in bed before it’s painstakingly too late and bedtime isn’t the smooth transaction I want it to be. Sure, I’d love to have that cuddle time, but by the time we’re done with everyone, we’re ready to hit the sack ourselves with both of us snoring so loud sometimes I’m surprised our house alarm doesn’t go off.
Now, Giuliana Rancic might be a busy mother these days too, but she’s probably a different busy than you and me. The reality television star and celebrity mama recently revealed that she puts her husband, Bill Rancic, in front of her son, meaning marriage comes first in her life. This is what she said:
“We’re husband and wife, but we’re also best friends, and it’s funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second. That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage.”
When I first read that quote, I associated Giuliana with words that rhyme with itch and so on, but that was just out of pure jealousy. But then I read it a second time, and it made more sense to me. I might have not agreed with her right away, but Giuliana is 100 percent right when you look at the context of what she says. When two people are in a loving, stable relationship and are able to build a house full of harmony, then the children of that household tend to flourish a little bit easier. And by that, I mean that they grow and develop in a more healthy manner when they see two adults committed to understanding one another. When you love your significant other, chances are, your children might grow up to be loving people in committed relationships too, and who wouldn’t want that?
A strong marriage is a wonderful thing to have, but how does one attain one, and better yet, keep one? I used to always think that my love for my children doesn’t compare to my love for my husband, but if I tried loving my husband a little more (keyword = try), will that automatically make me not only a better wife, but a better mother? Sure, I love my husband, but the things we do for each other have changed in the past ten years that we’ve been together and we might not show each other as much gratitude as we did during our earlier days.
At the end of the day, the homework will get done. The pink bump above thing #1’s eyelid will eventually go away. The pee on the floor, well, let’s not pretend he’s not going to do it again tomorrow, too. Our marriage is something worth working on and in some cases, even fighting for. Like Ben Affleck said, it’s work and sometimes I too feel like there’s no one I’d want to work with more than the person I’ve been with for the past decade. Let’s face it, if I’m going to have to go to bed every night and have to deal with someone else’s odor and farts, it might as well be his. Because he’s my Shrek and I’m his Fiona, big zits during my period days and all.
So while I still might grab my babies in a house fire before I grab my husband (that will never change), I will try my best to extend my hand as much as I can for him. Even though he’s not three feet tall and gnome-like (kidding!) like thing #1 and thing #2, he’s still my baby, too.
With that all said, maybe I should go ahead and make a reservation for a night of Hibachi deliciousness after all.
Photo via My Personal Archive