Greg Giraldo Gone But His Jokes Live On

greg giraldo death
Greg Giraldo's jokes will live on

Sadly, comedian Greg Giraldo, 44, passed away yesterday, five days after overdosing on prescription medication. But he leaves behind his gift of humor that will live on and continue to make us smile. Hopefully somehow that will comfort his three children, knowing that in his short life their father made many people laugh. Here are some of his best (clean) lines:

On having a favorite kid: “Can’t have a favorite. Can’t let them know know if you do. I don’t. I treat my main son and the other two exactly the same way.”

On roasting Larry the Cable Guy: “I’ve never roasted a fake character before. Maybe next year we can roast Spongebob Square Pants.”

On drinking: “One time, I was trying to get on a plane. They wouldn’t let me. They said I was too drunk to get on a plane. You know how wasted you have to be for someone to say, “Sir, you’re just too drunk to sit in a seat.”

On Michael Moore: “If you’re going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn’t weigh 450 pounds.”

On religion: “The Virgin Mary…We have a whole religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story.”

On Justin Timberlake: “All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake’s career.”

On politics: “I’d vote for myself because I couldn’t possibly suck as bad as our other options.”

And, eerily, this one: “My advice to graduates is to stay positive. Life is short, and you’ll be dead soon.”

Rest in peace Greg Giraldo. Notes of condolensce can be left on his Facebook page.

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