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Heidi Montag Files for Divorce, Presumably Will Never Procreate with Spencer Pratt

Yes, world, we can all as a collective species breathe a sigh of relief — as can Heidi Montag’s parents — because Montag has filed for divorce from husband of one year and four months Spencer Pratt, citing irreconcilable differences. Presumably “being held captive and brainwashed” wasn’t an option on the divorce petition. Perhaps Montag read our list of celebrity couples who should never have kids and that gave her the extra encouragement she needed to get out. Or our reasons why we were happy they wouldn’t have children once news of their separation hit. Here’s the scoop on their impending divorce:

“Heidi has amended her petition for separation and today has filed a petition for dissolution of marriage from Spencer Pratt,” Jodeane Farrell, Heidi’s lawyer, told People. “The couple has agreed they would like their divorce to be finalized in a timely manner in an out of court settlement. Both parties are amicable with each other and over the possibility of finalizing their divorce.”

Farewell Speidi!  I’d like to say we hardly knew ye, but you made sure we did. No, we won’t miss you.

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