The old saying has it that when the baby comes in the door, romance goes right out the window. And when you’re faced with a full diaper pail, homework projects that need your assistance or a middle-of-the-night cry of “Moooooommm!”, you do start to wonder whether you’ll ever recapture those days of dinner dates and long, lingering kisses.
Fortunately, there are ways to keep the flame burning even when you have children underfoot. Jessica Alba shares some of her own secrets in her new blog installment for iVillage.
Her first commandment for moms is a wise word of advice she learned from a friend: “Schedule!” It’s not enough to wait for a free moment to try squeezing in some couple-time; you have to make it happen.
“Cash [Warren] and I have found that maintaining a family schedule is the key to making time for each other,” explains the mom of toddler Honor and baby Haven. “Whether we’re settling into the couch to watch bad reality television or getting a babysitter so we can enjoy a date night out, we always know we have dedicated time after the girls are asleep to catch up, discuss what’s on our minds and simply enjoy being with each other (no cell phones or e-mail allowed!)”
She also hints that making time for intimacy – even when you’d rather catch a little extra sleep – is another important element in maintaining a strong marriage.
Finally, Jessica notes, romance doesn’t always have to mean “swinging from chandeliers (even though it’s nice from time to time).” Her husband of nine years wins her heart by doing things like sending an unexpected bouquet to her when she was on an out-of-state film shoot.
“He also takes over middle-of-the-night feedings, tends to fevers and takes the girls to the park without [my] having to ask because he knows I need a break,” she says. “All these things add to our romance.”
Hey – she won me over with the “watching bad reality shows together” part.
What about you? Does making time for romance make it easier to stay close when you have kids? Or do you have other hints to share?
[Photo: via Twitter]
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