With all the stories I hear about Jennifer Aniston’s womb, I have started to think of it as a separate entity and that the two are forced to live together in a love-hate existence where each day is pretty much the same. Jen goes to yoga and then comes back and sits on her Malibu porch with Her Womb and tries to make light-hearted small talk over herbal organic tea, but Womb always has to bring down the conversation.
Jen: “Isn’t it beautiful out today? I think I see a dolphin out in the surf.”
Jen’s Womb: “It’s empty. Like everyday is empty because I am empty. Why can’t you find a man?”
Jen: “Just look at the freaking dolphin and be happy darn it! If you’re going to complain, go whine to the tabloids, not to me!”
And this is how every conversation goes, except at night when Jen’s Womb sometimes sneaks into Jen’s bedroom to stand over her and stare, whispering “I am lonely,” into the cold, dark air.
Adding to this little, admittedly weird, imagination game I like to play, is the latest of Jen baby bump watch news. She’s seeing a life coach to help her baby dreams come true. Take a moment and just chew over Jen’s Womb having a meeting with a shrink. I like to think he looks and acts and basically is Woody Allen (because hey, this is my odd game and I can make anything happen that I want) because this somehow makes it funny (maybe?).
Anyway, Jen is reportedly meeting with a Hollywood-based “life strategist” by the name of Suzannah Galland so that she can start making the right life decisions that will bring her closer to motherhood.
Suzannah has worked with Naomi Campbell, Demi Moore and Gwyneth Paltrow, to name a few and has said in the past that, “So many of my clients are walking around with a big hole in their hearts if they don’t have a family. Many of them think that because they can’t have a family the traditional way it won’t ever happen to them – they don’t consider other viable means, firstly, adoption.”
There was news last week that Sheryl Crow has been giving Jen adoption advice. At some point the star will probably want a child so at some point the tabloids will be right. Maybe this is that moment? Jen’s single, so adoption is a viable choice. Wonder what Jen’s Womb has to say about it?