On Jersey Shore Season 2 Episode 6 last night, we received confirmation of something we’ve suspected for a very long time: Sammi and Ronnie are the absolute worst reality couple of all time. On behalf of mankind, I would like to ask these two to end it before the unthinkable happens and they get married and/or, God forbid, have children. Because it turns out Sammi’s threats to end it with Ronnie last week were as fake as Snooki’s winter tan.
Sammi ended up in his room again, despite the fact that last week he was exposed (well, to her; the rest of us have known for quite some time) as a two-timing (three-timing?) cheater.
And yet instead of directing her anger at her “boyfriend,” like any rational person would, Sammi instead gets mad at the friends in the house who let her know.
President Obama, I am begging you: Sign a presidential order breaking these two up! It may be the only way to keep them apart.
What reality couples do they now have beat as worst ever? “The Bachelor’s” Jake and Vienna for sure. Those two could shout at each other, but Sammi and Ronnie’s accents and poor English make it so much more painful.
“The Bachelor’s” Melissa and Jason too. That was the most painful ending to a relationship I’ve ever seen on TV, but they had the good sense to STAY BROKEN UP. Sammi and Ronnie? Not so much.
Even going back to the days of Amber and Boston Rob on “Survivor” and later “The Amazing Race” Sammi and Ronnie have them beat. Amber and Rob were annoying to other people but fiercely loyal to each other, which made their duplicity oddly forgiveable. You get the feeling Ronnie would sell Sammi for $3 and a cover shoot for Men’s Health.
So repeat after me, kids: It’s really over. No altars. No children. May the rest of the world rest in peace.
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