Jessica Simpson has always been funny, but now that she’s a pregnant woman – she’s a straight-up comic!
From fears of labor pain, “slutty brownie” cravings, and admitting to bouts of gas, we can’t get enough of a pregnant Jessica Simpson!
Remember when Jess talked about her heightened arousal during pregnancy saying, “I am definitely feeling intimate.’ I’m kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!” TMI? Maybe. But who cares?
When it comes to Jessica, there is no filter. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Take a look at 10 of Jess‘ best pregnancy quotes below!
When Her Water Finally Breaks 1 of 10"I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoohah! Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it will be like a fire hydrant!"
Getting Intimate 2 of 10"I am definitely â€˜feeling intimate.' I'm kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!"
Her Large Baby 3 of 10"There is only one, there is only one girl. But I did get knocked up by a baller…. That's what I get, he's like 6'4â€³."
Her Nickname 4 of 10I came up with it because I was sweating my butt off and I just started calling myself â€˜Swamp Ass.' Like, I have swamp ass right now. I have major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut…. I'm wearing these Spanx and we're under these hot lights… it's very humid in there."
Sensational Cravings 5 of 10"They're called Slutty Brownies. They are a layer of cookie dough, a layer of Oreo cookies and a layer of brownie dough, and then you bake it together. It's amazing." Why are they called Slutty Brownies? "I don't know. I guess a lot goes into them?"
Passing Gas 6 of 10"The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!" - In response to a tweet from OMGFacts that stated: "The average person expels flatulence 15 times each day!"
Finding Out She Was Pregnant 7 of 10"We were goin' to have an all-day drinking binge. Gonna ride our bikes, hang out… do naughty things. But I started feeling this overwhelming guilt."
Her Dancing Baby 8 of 10"A friend just sent me a video of me singing back in the day and the lil munchkin started moving like crazy! Let's hope it wasn't just gas!"
More Cravings 9 of 10"This week it's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, toasted. And then, I'll put some salt on my hand like I'm taking a tequila shot and then take a bite of the sandwich."
Labor Pains 10 of 10"Labor is really going to hurt," she told Leno. "I have so much respect for my mom and all the women across the world."
[Photos via Elle/Twitter.]
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