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Jon Gosselin Got Smacked In The Face

john-gosselin-stitch-face… but not by Kate. Or by any other woman, apparently. Much to the disappointment of many Jon Gosselin haters, the shiner and stitches that Jon was sporting above his left eye were the result of a run-in with a kitchen cabinet, not an angry twenty-something that Jon picked up at a bar.

Here’s what a source told Radar:

“It’s nothing, he’s fine, he hit a cabinet.”

That’s such a cliche: “it’s nothing, really.” Isn’t that what people always say when they’re trying to hide the truth about an injury that has a somewhat embarrassing backstory? So, what’s the real story behind Jon’s stitches?

Could it be that Hailey Glassman, Kate, or some jealous boyfriend hit him in the face? Maybe. I’m thinking that the cabinet story is probably the truth, but not the whole truth.

Could it be that Jon staggered home drunk after a night of carousing and proceeded to lose his balance, taking a nosedive into a cabinet?

Sure, there are other ways to get cut above the eye with a cabinet, but that scenario is by far the most probable, right? At least, that’s what I like to believe.

I hope the kids were all tucked into bed when it happened, because drunken spills never do much for parental respect. Maybe he can tell Larry King all the ugly details.

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