Growing up, my mom embarrassed me in pretty standard fashion–insisting on calling my friend’s parents if I told her I was going to their houses, or chaperoning every. single. school dance. I found all of it slightly mortifying at the time. But lord, did I have no idea how good I had it. I can’t even imagine the universe of humiliation Kelly Osbourne is feeling on hearing her mother Sharon Osbourne’s plans for turning her breast implants into paper weights. Awkward doesn’t even begin to cover it.
“I don’t even know what to think,” Osbourne told US Weekly. “She’s a nutter. I think my dad will probably enjoy it more than anyone else.”
OK, gross. Not an image I needed. But then again, probably not an image she needed, either.