Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady stepped out for some exercise-with-infant yesterday—a little hike to take off her baby weight. Oh, wait! She took off the baby weight weeks ago! Just days after birthing Benjamin Brady! Celebs are like that. Why shouldn’t the rest of us have the same luck? So, for the benfit of real mothers out there, I offer 5 workout moves inspired by celebrity moms.
1. The Gwyneth Paltrow/Madonna interval-sprint: Put child in Ergo/Bjorn/not-yet-recalled sling. Run to limo. Ride to Airport. Run to Gate. Fly to London. Fly back to New York. Run to baggage claim. Leap into limo. Ride back to Manhattan. Run into townhouse. Repeat.
2. The J.Lo/Marcia Cross Squat: Balance one twin on each hip. Squat until your thighs are parallel to the floor. Stand back up. Repeat until both babies have squirmed out of your grasp and lie crashed on the ground. Not recommended on hardwood floors.
3. The Halle Berry Pat-on-the-Back: First, have good genes. Second, nurture those genes by thanking them every day. Third, watch the weight fall off. Finally, pat self on the back (this move is great for toning shoulder muscles—not that you need it, you miracle of nature).
4. The Sarah Jessica Parker Balance-and-Grace Strengthener. Rummage through closet (this act alone can burn 60 calories in 30 minutes, if done vigorously). Put on stilettos. Grab child. Walk to school. Dodge cameras. Don’t fall.
5. The Amy Poehler Fake-Out. Get pregnant again. Fast! No need to lose the baby weight. Or to excise at all, if you ask me. Eat bonbons instead.
PHOTO: INF Photo