New Chuck Lorre Vanity Card: First Since Charlie Sheen Controversy

chuck lorre vanity cards
Chuck Lorre

Chuck Lorre usually posts vanity cards after each of his shows: Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, and Mike and Molly.  These vanity cards were usually funny little insights into what Chuck Lorre was thinking.

But, when in the middle of all the Charlie Sheen controversy, Chuck Lorre took a break from writing new vanity cards, even though he could have easily used them to take aim at Charlie Sheen.

After last night’s Big Bang Theory, Chuck Lorre had a new vanity card up- while it doesn’t name Charlie Sheen or speak directly to what has happened with him or Two and a Half Men, we find out how he is feeling about the situation:

Whenever I’ve gone through tough times, well-meaning people have told me that God/the universe does not give us more than we can handle. Well, I’ve been going through a tough time recently, and sure enough, that old saying has been tossed my way on several morose occasions. After some careful consideration, I’ve decided it’s bull$#*!. As an aphorism, it only makes sense in hindsight – after you’ve managed to crawl from the wreckage of whatever calamity that God/the universe decided to toss your way. No one ever uses it to comfort someone who’s been hit by a bus or turned into a puddle of goo by flesh-eating bacteria (although in the right circumstance, that could be a hoot). Another thing I hear a lot is, “this too shall pass.” Again, I know these are words meant to reassure, but somehow they always leave me feeling that heartbreak, rage and grief are going to come shooting out of me like kidney stones through an inflamed urethra. For someone in crisis, I think a more accurate and helpful assessment of reality would be, “Love, sex, food, friendship, art, play, beauty and the simple pleasure of a cup of tea are all well and good, but never forget that God/the universe is determined to kill you by whatever means necessary.” Consider trying that next time you’re called on to do some consoling. If you’re feeling impish, you might also try, “According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you’re having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon.”

Chuck Lorre Productions, #337

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