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NEWSFLASH! Brad and Angelina are OFFICIALLY Over!

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Brangelina, Brangie, whatever you want to call them, they’re kaput. Finished. Over. The National Enquirer, the bastion of truth in journalism, says that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are splitting up.

From the Enquirer’s story:

brangelinasplit001After months of behind-the-scenes battles, it’s finally over between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Hollywood’s most glamorous power couple – who never married despite having six children – have grown tired of trying to gloss over their problems following five tumultuous years together, say sources.

Brad and Angelina are going their separate ways with the hope of reuniting in the future if they can repair their volatile relationship, disclosed an insider. “They will make it official. It looks like Brad will be shooting two movies in California and in the Amazon, while Angelina is retreating to their French chateau with the rest of the family.”

“It’s an official split.”

If the strong-willed couple can’t find a way to get back together, sources say the breakup could turn into an ugly court battle over their $200 million fortune and the custody of their six children.

The deciding moment for the pair came when they had strained words with each other while in Cannes, France for the screening of Brad’s new movie Inglourious Basterds. They put on a romantic show in front of the media, but Angie, 34, and Brad, 45, become frosty as soon as the spotlight was off, say friends.

A jealous Angelina was said to be incensed over the attention Brad was getting from other women, having argued recently over Brad’s continued contact with ex-wife Jennifer Aniston. “Brad and Angelina will make appearances together from time to time, and he’ll meet up with the kids when he can. But make no mistake, this is a major split,” disclosed the insider.

All of this is subject to change at a moment’s notice, of course, but maybe now Brad is free to pursue the real woman of his dreams: Nadya OctoMom Suleman, who looks totally different from Angie. *cough*

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