The gossip site TMZ reports exclusively that Rachel Uchitel, whose main claim to fame is having been the alleged mistress of Tiger Woods and David Boreanaz, is expecting a baby girl in the spring.
She first tweeted pictures of her growing bump this week, exulting, “Expecting big things for 2012…Five down, four months to go…” and giving a shoutout to husband Matty Hahn.
For those of you counting, that means Baby Girl Hahn is due sometime at the end of April.
May we offer some well-meaning advice to the new arrival?
1. Learn how to deal with adversity in positive ways. Your mom has known her share of heartache, but as you’ll learn soon enough, she turned to…let’s say…some less-than-healthy sources of comfort. You can learn from her mistakes.
2. If he’s taken, stay away. From the cute 4th-grade classmate who kinda-sorta likes your best friend to the famous sports figure who confides that his marriage isn’t all roses, it’s never wise to get involved with someone who’s still attached.
3. Be your own person. No matter who your parents are, you’re a unique little girl who can carve her own destiny. You’ll be followed by cameras. You’ll hear stories you’d rather not hear. But that doesn’t have to stop you from making your own mark on the world. And wouldn’t you rather have your name connected with the words “Nobel Prize” or “Ph.D.” than with “mistress” or “Playboy model”?
Best wishes to the little girl-in-the-making.
Read more of Shana’s writing at Momsperiments.
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