The third and last installment of the Real Housewives of New York City reunion left no doubt that Kelly Bensimon is in fact mentally ill. However, it really wasn’t fair of Bethenny to compare her to Humpty Dumpty. Not fair to Humpty Dumpty that is.
Here are my favorite moments, too many of which involve Kelly:
1. Kelly says she did Playboy so that she could show her daughters that if you take care of yourself you can have a great body at 42. Apparently one must pose for nude photographs in order to teach one’s children this valuable lesson.
2. And speaking of nude photographs…Jill yells at Alex about her illicit photos: “You were spread eagle in the hallway of your husband’s hotel!” She yelled this several times. Just in case we didn’t hear her screeching it the first time.
3. Kelly says she supports PETA but will wear fur and eat meat if she wants to. It’s a free country, she explains, and she might decide to wear fur today but decide tomorrow she doesn’t want to wear fur anymore. What’s it to you?
4. Ramona briefly joins Kelly’s crazy train when she gets up, stomps over to Jill and enacts how Jill should have behaved when she entered the villa in St. John. Incidentally, I think she was shaking not because of her emotions but because she was undergoing withdrawal from not having pinot grigio for a whole three hours.
5. Moderator Andy Cohen asks Kelly if she “got help” after the St. John trip. Kelly responds, “For what?” She was serious.
6. LuAnn, in what could be the understatement of the century notes: “I’m no Mariah Carey.” And Bravo treats us to a disturbing flashback of her performing / lip synching Money Can’t Buy You Class.
7. Kelly tells the ladies they should “celebrate who she is.” Bethenny replies: “We don’t know who you are.”
8. We learn a producer “escorted Kelly” off of St. John and back to New York. How would you like to have been the luckless sod who had your time in paradise cut short so you could play babysitter to a 42-year-old insane person? The producers on site must drawn straws for that miserable mission….
9. When asked, all of the Housewives left the possibility open they will return next season. Although Jill declares she can’t film with Alex because she clearly “hate her.” Alex replies, very unconvincingly, “I don’t hate you.” Kelly says the show was difficult for her, but it’s made her more aggressive and she likes the new Kelly. Which is frightening.
10. Jill declares getting kicked off the island of St. John was the “most humiliating” experience of her life. Tears ensue. Sonja points out that Ramona got up from her pedicure to go over the Jill when she entered the house. Luann and Kelly found that comment hysterical to which Sonja indignantly spat “What’s so funny!?”
Alas, it ends on a note of “hope” as Jill put it — with Jill giving Bethenny a hug and eloquently stating: “I want to see your baby. And that’s no bullsh–.”
Next week (can they drag this season out any longer???) they will air some never-seen-before footage. Season 4 can’t come soon enough!