In this week’s issue of Star Magazine, the editors of the prestigious celebrity gossip and fodder weekly rate the skills and efforts of some of the entertainment world’s most talked about celebrity mothers including Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Lopez, and Christina Aguilera.
Now, I’ll admit that I’m yet to open up this week’s issue to read a full in-depth analysis about celebrity mothers “who choose booze over storytime,” let their kids smoke,” and “hasn’t seen their son for months.” Instead, the mag’s cover pretty much says everything I need to know or read. In their Star Report Card for the best and worst moms, Angelina Jolie gets a C- for constantly allowing her children to eat junk food, while Jennifer Lopez gets the same grade because her twins prefer their nanny over her. Christina Aguilera meanwhile gets a D+ because her son was spotted with a black eye last year. The editors might be insinuating that Christina is a careless mom by giving her such a low grade, because you know, kids never fall or hit their heads and walk around bruised up at all.
The only celebrity mother who seems to fare well on Star mag’s report card? Sandra Bullock who gets a solid A+, although unfortunately the editors do not specify why on the cover, with all the tag lines given to those moms who scored C’s and D’s in their mom scores.
(Oh and let’s not forget new mom Jessica Simpson on the upper left hand corner who gets the Star treatment with the catchy header: “Jessica’s Struggle, Can’t Lose A Pound.”)
So, if Star Magazine were to critique the mamahood skills of this Babble blogger, I guess I wouldn’t fare to well either. I am guilty of allowing my children to sometimes indulge in Double-fudge Oreo cookies BEFORE lunch when they beg me long and hard enough and I just need five minutes to get a blog entry done, my son was in a cast when he was 18-months-old when a cabinet accidently fell on him while he was pulling on the drawers (we nailed that sucker to the wall right after that happened — the cabinet, that is), and my 4-year-old daughter has a tendency to call or want her grandmother when I refuse to give in to her “wants.” Oh, and just like Jessica Simpson, I struggled to lose my baby weight one month after I gave birth and had to burn each pound like a mother for an entire year before squeezing back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Yeah, so I suck for that, too.
So, if Star were to
judge rate me for the type of mother I am based on the very few things they know about me, I’d probably get a big fat F or a D if I were lucky. But since we’re rating and critiquing here, I too am thinking of the letter “F” when I think of the editors over at Star, but that’s followed by another letter that just so happens to be a “U.”
After all, we do judge things by their covers, don’t we?
Photo via Star Magazine