Suri Cruise Extends Olive Branch To Zahara Jolie-Pitt, Critiques Hollywood Tot Style In Mock Burn Book

Suri now has her own "burn book"

Move over, Gwyneth Paltrow.  There’s a new blogger in town, and this little tot has something interesting to say!

Suri Cruise might only be 5-years-old, but girlfriend already has a wardrobe that both Harper Seven and Skyler Berman are going to work very hard to ever match and is quite possibly Hollywood’s most influential fashionista under five feet in height.  With that in mind, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that she already has a blog and in which she critiques the styles of other celebrity tots, shamelessly points out their cankles, and even takes a swipe at everyone’s favorite tomboy, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.

The Tumblr blog is a tongue-in-cheek journal told in the eyes of a rather sarcastic, bottle-drinking Suri (not that type of bottle) who puts in her own two cents about Hollywood baby news that are making the daily rounds.

It seems that Suri the blogger is keen on extending an olive branch to Zahara Jolie-Pitt.  Upon seeing her and her family passing through an airport in pictures, she shared some interesting thoughts about her sister Shiloh, (who was wearing neon green Kanye West shades) writing, “What an attention monster.  Do you have to run around an airport behaving like you’re on ecstasy?”

“Zahara’s face says everything.  Her life must be really rough.  I’d like to have her over for a tea party to discuss all our problems,” Blogger Suri adds in her post.

She also takes a swipe at Jennifer Garner’s kids, writing, “IT HURTS ME.  The faces are so pretty, but the clothes are so sad.  I just couriered over a box of clothes from my overflow closet.”

She also goes middle school mean by posting a picture of Mario Lopez’s daughter with the caption, “LOOK AT THE CANKLES ON THIS BABY” and mocks Orlando Bloom for revealing in an interview that he loves the way his baby Flynn smells.

“He can’t possibly smell better than me.  I have my shampoo shipped from the UK and it’s the same as Kate Middleton’s.  It smells like citrus and money,” responds Suri.

It looks like Suri doesn’t show mercy for anyone, or even for her own mother for that matter.  After seeing a paparazzi snap of her and mom Katie Holmes in a grocery store parking lot she writes, “Pardon my sensible flats.  I was not expecting to be photographed at the market.  Clearly, Katie wasn’t planning on being seen, either.”

Phew.  When’s the casting for “Mean Girls 3″?


Article Posted 4 years Ago
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