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Top Five Predictions for Real Housewives of New York Reunion

Bethenny Frankel and Kelly Bensimon Twittered that the Real Housewives of New York City are filming their reunion show today — perhaps as we speak! Bensimon even posted the inappropriate interesting outfit she’ll wear (above), which won’t go a long way in rehabilitating her crazy image.  As a relatively new but rabid RHONY fan, I have some predictions about what will go down at the reunion:

5) Ramona will be so sloshed on pinot grigio that she sleeps through the whole thing. She later fakes an appendicitis or similar illness as an alibi to avoid having to go to rehab. Which is a good thing. Because nobody wants to see Ramona sober next season.  (Sonja also is a no-show but nobody notices.)

4) Jill feigns happiness for Bethenny that she looks so fit and trim less than three weeks after giving birth.  She later takes out a fake Twitter page dedicated solely to discussing what a bad mother Bethenny will make.

3) Alex shows up dressed like a vampire, somewhat making us wonder if Kelly isn’t as crazy as we all thought.

2) Alex’s husband Simon runs off with LuAnn’s new blond boyfriend. Alex thinks it’s because she looks like a vampire but the rest of us know it’s much more simple: Simon is gay.

1) The child services department from the state of New York raids the studio to confiscate all the Real Housewives’ children who are under 18. Bravo will blare in LuAnn’s “Money Can’t Buy You Class” (the remixed disco version) as the children are saved taken away, looking slightly relieved.

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