We’re used to movie births being portrayed in a Hollywood glow of mood-lighting and makeup that would never exist in real-life. But these 10 movie moms – and these scenes in particular – take the dirty diaper award for the least real-life representation of what it’s like to raise children.
The Character: Heather Graham’s hippy stripper mom in The Hangover
The normal part? A single mom falls in love, gets married, and then lets her son get to know his new stepdad by leaving them on their own for a few hours. The crazy part? Stepdad is a one-night stand she’s known for all of a Vegas minute. And when his friends ask where the baby’s mom is, he responds: “Check its collar or something.” Ridiculous, yes, realistic, no.
The Character: Amy Poehler’s margarita-swilling mom in Mean Girls
Regina’s mom brings the “BFF mom” concept to a whole other level, wearing Juicy Couture while spewing this lovely mantra: “I’m not like regular moms, I’m a cool mom. Right, Regina?” To which her daughter replies, much more realistically: “Please stop talking.”
The Character: Julia Robert’s gusty and busty mom in Erin Brockovich
The real unemployed single mom of three is as amazing as her movie counterpart portrays her, still fighting for the environment on a global level. But it’s unrealistic for any other mom of three to look like Julia Roberts. (And to be fair, Julia doesn’t even look like “Julia Roberts” when she’s picking her kids up from school.) Brockovich recently told the UK’s The Sun newspaper: “I found it extremely difficult being compared to Julia Roberts and I find that sometimes it’s more than I can bear.” Yes, we imagine being compared to People’s recently re-annointed “Most Beautiful Woman” would not be easy.
The Character: Jennifer Coolidge’s cougar mom in American Pie
American Pie is ludicrous at its core. Hooking up with your teenage son’s friends? Yuck. But we do get a kick out of the line: “I got some scotch…aged eighteen years. The way I like it.” She was a cougar years before Kim Cattrall, Demi Moore or Courtney Cox helped coin the term.
The Character: Jennifer Lopez’s wannabe mommy in The Backup Plan
Her water breaks doing the conga line at a wedding. And oddly, she witnesses a water birth with her support group, where the leader plays the conga drums in a cheesy, kum-ba-ya caricature of natural birth. We love the attention paid to the home birth option, but could they not make it seem like something out of an episode of Dharma & Greg? Or at the very least, have less percussion?
The Character: Julie Andrew’s musical mom in The Sound of Music
Sure, she wasn’t the von Trapps’ mom yet, but the whole singing in the hills thing? If we suddenly found ourselves parenting seven children, we’d probably be a little more Kate Gosselin-shrill than musically-inclined Maria. But you got to love her honesty when she’s praying for her new brood: “I forgot the other boy. Oh, what’s his name? Oh, well, God bless What’s-his-name.”
The Character: Natasha Richardson’s clueless mom in The Parent Trap
Lindsay Lohan is a pretty talented actress (whose career is overshadowed by her off-screen social life). And she is convincing as a set of twins, one British and one American. But what mom can’t distinguish between her children?
The Character: Catherine O’Hara’s forgetful mom in Home Alone
Yes, many moms have gotten into the car and realized they have left their child at the front door. But would anyone really get in that car, drive to the airport, go through customs and get halfway to Paris without realizing their youngest son is at home – alone? Packing is hectic, but forgetting to pack your child is just implausible. (Although it does make a perfect plot for a classic Christmas flick.)
The Character: Uma Thurman’s frumpy mummy in Motherhood
Okay, we didn’t actually see this movie – makes sense, considering it made less than $100,000 in theaters last year. But we did see the trailer. Uma Thurman’s “harried mother” character is decked out like a depressed Mormon/hobo, swathed in seas of baggy grey clothes. We like the attempt at reality – real moms aren’t generally camera-ready 24-7 – but must she look like she just escaped from a remake of Little House on the Prairie? At least give the gal a pair of Gap Body leggings and a hole-free T!
The Character: Amy Poehler’s surrogate mom in Baby Mama
Amy Poehler and Tina Fey both regularly spin cinematic gold, and in this movie the two real-life moms address a complicated issue with humor. A lot of the gags, however, are pretty unrealistic – why wouldn’t the surrogate just ask how to remove the baby-proof cover on the toilet instead of perching like Gollum on the bathroom sink?