Over at blogging headquarters, BlogHer.com, one columnist is taking a compassionate view of Courtney Love’s recent onslaught of Tweets to estranged daughter Frances Bean Cobain. What if, she asks, Love wasn’t famous and was just a regular mommy blogger who went on rants via her blog or Twitter? Wouldn’t we, the blogging community, be more empathetic of a regular mom with extraordinary problems (losing a husband to suicide, substance abuse, custody issues, etc.)? While I think this columist’s heart is in the right place, here’s why I disagree.
The article says: “There are plenty of parents who blog about these sorts of situations, because their lives aren’t so different from what’s been going on with Courtney Love. And if any of those moms took to Twitter and sent out a bunch of bizarre tweets, might we be gathering around and trying to offer support?”
Courtney Love is NOT a regular mom — she’s famous and the by-product of that (much to her own doing) is that her daughter, who has also been through enormous tragedy, does not have the private life most teenagers do. Love knew, or should have known, that the media would pick up on these Tweets, further invading the privacy of Frances Bean and compounding what must be a difficult time for her. Sure, we can have compassion for Love — she is obviously extremely troubled — but her actions since losing custody don’t show a mother in remorse or trying to rectify past misdeeds. In fact, she’s acting more erratic than ever — in a very public way.
Surely if she was a “regular” mother who blogged or Tweeted similar posts, we bloggers would have concerns for the children, especially if the mommy blogger was not anonymous. My guess is if a mom was writing under her own name about her child in such a situation, the blogging community would similarly denounce it and suggest she not write public outcries to her estranged child, famous or not. Because it’s damaging to the child — and that’s whose well-being should be our first concern. Love needs help, and if losing custody of her child doesn’t show her that, maybe nothing will. I feel for Love, but really it’s Frances Bean who deserves the bulk of the concern. Love is an adult who should take responsibility for getting help, and there is nothing anybody can do about it except for her, whether we sympathize or not.
Read the interesting point-of-view from BlogHer here.