It hasn’t even been two weeks, but Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have already reached a divorce settlement. Talk about the quickest divorce negotiations ever! And although the dollars and cents aren’t being discussed, Katie’s team is “thrilled.” What is their definition of “thrilled”? And what do the terms of the divorce really mean? Check them out here:
Katie’s lawyer Jonathan Wolfe confirmed the deal in a statement to People Magazine.
He wrote: “The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed.”
This means: In other words, “We wanted this done quickly and we did.” Maybe Katie had something on Tom Cruise that they were using to get this done so fast, but the speed of the agreement is unusually fast, even for a celebrity divorce.
He wrote: “We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life.”
This means: Katie got a lot of money. A lot of money. Word is about 30 million plus property. Also, this means she has more freedom to do the kind of projects she wants to do, not just what Tom “approves” of.
He wrote: “This result could not have been achieved without the hard work of my partner Gary Skoloff and our co-counsel Allan Mayefsky, Michael Mosberg and Larry Trachtenberg of Aronson Mayefsky and Sloan and Peter Walzer and Chris Melcher of Walzer & Melcher in California.”
This means: They went to war and came to win with a high profile and tough team of lawyers.
He wrote: “We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution.”
This means: His lawyers didn’t put up much of a fight.
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise issued a statement.
They said: “We are committed to working together as parents to accomplish what is in our daughter Suri’s best interests.”
This means: Our guess is that Katie will have primary custody of Suri, but she will spend time with dad Tom as well.
They said: “We want to keep matters affecting our family private and express our respect for each other’s commitment to each of our respective beliefs and support each other’s roles as parents.”
This means: Katie was totally over the Scientology thing, but she knows Tom is committed and won’t talk smack about his religion. And Tom will support Katie’s shopping sprees and late night outings with Suri. They will not discuss or dis each others parenting style in public.
Why do you think the divorce was settled so quick?