Five-Minute Time Out: Logan Levkoff
Tackling birds, bees and the family bath with a sexpert mom
by Nicole Feliciano
April 18, 2008
You may recognize this sassy blonde from her appearances as a sex expert on The Today Show, E!, Fox News and MTV. By way of credentials, Levkoff has spent the past ten years in the sex education business and holds a Master's degree in Human Sexuality Education from the University of Pennsylvania. But her expertise isn't just for adults hoping to make sense of their passions and predilections. Levkoff's book, Third Base Ain't What it Used to Be: What Your Kids are Learning About Sex Today and How to Teach Them to Become Sexually Healthy Adults (NAL/Penguin, October 2007), gives parents new ways to tackle issues of sexuality. And according to Levkoff, no, you can't put off "the talk" until puberty arrives. Over a cup of tea, we dished with Levkoff about Oprah, Hooters ads and playing doctor. — Nicole Feliciano
As a self-described "sexpert" do you lead a wild social life?
I'm a married mom. A typical Friday night consists of putting on pjs and sharing a bottle of wine with our neighbors as we watch our kids race up and down the hallway.
Finding time for sex is challenging enough for overtaxed parents. What's a randy couple to do when a curious toddler walks in on the act?
First of all, they might not have any idea what they are seeing.
Remember, kids aren't looking at their bodies as adults would. They don't see their body parts as sexual. Check to make sure you haven't scared them. They may think you are wrestling. Don't get more sophisticated than you have to. If an older child, age five or six, asks, "Are you guys having sex?" a proper reply would be that mom and dad are sharing a private moment.
How do you feel about naked households?
If you are okay with nudity, it's fine. There is nothing wrong with nudity. However, if one of the parents is uncomfortable, the issue needs to be discussed. If naked bodies make one of you flustered and create an attitude of shame, it's not a good idea.
We've got a playdate going on and discover the kids playing doctor. How should we react?
This is definitely going to happen and it's completely normal — especially at the potty-training age. The best advice is to think about your reaction in advance. Our bodies are fascinating. Remember, kids aren't looking at their bodies as adults would. They don't see their body parts as sexual. They are curious and getting a sense of gender. If it makes you uncomfortable to talk about the issue, distract the kids and offer up another activity. Don't make a big deal out of the game — that's where shame and guilt come in.
©2008 Nicole Feliciano and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Nicole Feliciano is a freelance writer based in Brooklyn, New York. By her estimates, she's walked more than 50 miles this year road-testing strollers. When she's not unboxing baby gear for Babble guides, she writes about parenting style
on her blogs:
Momtrends and
Momtrendsnyc.com
For more of her picks check out Momtrends, her parenting blog.
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