5-Minute Time Out: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
Stefanie Wilder-Taylor has more parenting/drinking advice.
by Jennifer V. Hughes
May 23, 2008
That's so funny — your "New Mommy Math" was my favorite part of the book! ("When Smug Mama tells you straight to your face that she absolutely allows only one hour of mind-enriching educational TV a day, just go ahead and add two hours. If she tells you 'No TV ever!' add six. It's that simple.") Why do you think women do this crap?
It's the same reason why women try to be skinny for other women; how women dress for women not men. It's a little competition kind of thing — it comes out of our own insecurities. I've found validation in just being honest. My thing was always searching for ways to connect with other moms who were willing to be honest.
You've written some pretty brutally honest stuff on your blog — about your postpartum depression, your emotionally distant mother. What is it like to have so many people respond?
People respond to honesty, that's what I've found. I was very scared before Sippy Cups came out . . . I thought Moms would be angry and no one would want to hear about how I had so much trouble breastfeeding and I didn't bond with my baby, but I found the opposite was true.
People want to read things that people don't dare say — that I didn't love my baby instantly.
My point is that what I've found to be very profound is that people want to read things that people don't dare say — that I didn't love my baby instantly. I felt ready to care for her in a primal way but I wasn't like, "Isn't this great, isn't she cute?" To be honest, I don't feel that way about my twins yet. They're okay, but they're not like my daughter, who I'm madly in love with. And I think that's okay to say that it takes a little while to fall in love with your kids.
One of the things I love about your books is that you are so not afraid to write things that might possibly tick people off. (I'm thinking about how much you can't stand scrapbooking, Dragon Tales, suburbs, date night, etc.)
Why are people going to buy your book unless you have something to say? That always kills me — people say things like, "How dare you make fun of people who make their own baby food?" I'm not making fun of it per se — I'm just willing to say that it seems crazy. Okay, maybe that is making fun of people, but I'm not saying you're a loser for doing it; I'm just never going to make my own baby food.
So you just had twins! How totally stressed are you to be promoting your new book, caring for two babies (daughters Sadie and Matilda) and a toddler (Elby, three)?
It's hard. It's harder than writing the book through morning sickness and finding out I was having twins. Fortunately I have help during the day, but it's still a little crazy.
So is your next book about having twins?
I think a book about twins would be: "Don't do it."
Photo by Alex Asher Sears Photography
©2008 Jennifer V. Hughes and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Jennifer V. Hughes is a writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Mothering magazine and the Columbia Law School Report. She also makes a killer sangria. |
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