Bad Parent: His and Hers
My son and daughter share a room so I can have sushi.
by Alison Lowenstein
October 25, 2007
My kids aren't only siblings, they're roommates.
Our apartment is 1,153 square feet of living space. In my part of Brooklyn this
is considered family-sized, but in suburban America it's referred to as
a shack. We have two bedrooms, and two children, a four-year-old girl and an
eighteen-month-old boy who share a room. It's very obvious which part of
the room is Lucy's and which is Max's. There seems to be an unspoken
divider in the center of the room. Lucy's side has a dresser covered with
Polly Pockets, a large collection of dolls and a floral comforter on a white
princess bed. Max's area is cluttered with Thomas Trains, random Fisher
Price toys, a crib with blue sheets, and a large mural of a dinosaur.
What bothers me is that people always ask, "How long can you stay there
with two kids of the opposite sex sharing the same room?"
"I guess when they start to notice," I reply. Of course, they've obviously
already noticed they are sharing a room. The truth is, I plan on keeping them
together
until
one of them protests so strongly
that they try There is a closeness my children share that children who sleep in separate
bedrooms miss. to convince us to give up our bedroom and relocate to the living
room.
And Lucy and Max have a large bedroom even by suburban standards, so
why can't they share? Some people told me that they heard it's against
the law to have siblings of the opposite sex share a room after a certain age,
which I can't believe is true. If it is, I'm going to break the law.
But those comments do make me question my parenting ethics. Simply by keeping
my kids together, would they become like the incestuous siblings from Flowers
in the Attic?
It can't be true. I mean, that wasn't the case with Jane and Michael
Banks in Mary Poppins or Wendy, Michael and John in Peter Pan or Charlie and
Lola or Pinky Pinky Doo and her brother Tyler, who all shared rooms with siblings
of the opposite sex. In fact, in the past didn't all siblings share a bedroom,
which was referred to as the nursery?
There is something sweet and innocent about the concept of a nursery, because
there is a closeness my children share that children who sleep in separate
bedrooms miss. They partake in the same bedtime ritual. After their bath, I tell
them a good-night story, and as I walk out and leave the door ajar, I always
hear Lucy singing songs to Max. In fact, when we stayed in a hotel, I told Lucy
to do the thing she does to put Max to sleep, and she began to sing. And once
when Max had a high fever and came into bed with us, Lucy woke up in the middle
of the night, looked over at his empty crib and screamed, "Where's
Max?!"
©2007 Alison Lowenstein and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Alison Lowenstein is a freelance writer and the author of City Baby Brooklyn. She also teaches writing and literature at York College. She is at work on another New York guidebook. Alison lives in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, with her husband and two kids. |
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