The 15 Worst Celebrity Parents of the Year
Britney and K. Fed have plenty of company.
by April Peveteaux and Liz Nadybal
December 13, 2007
1. Britney Spears: It's Britney, bitch! The young Miss Spears is a drinking, drugging, soda pop pushing, nekkid, crotch-showing, devil-may-care behind the wheel kind of gal. While this has provided all of us with endless hours of entertainment, one look at the sweet little grubby faces of Sean Preston and Jayden James takes all the schadenfreude out of this American nightmare. It's about the children, Brit. It's about the children. Lest you think Britney has no allies besides the "Leave Britney Alone!" screamer, check this out.
2. Kevin Federline: How did this guy get fatherhood props? K-Fed has also got to shoulder some blame in this familial train wreck instead of sitting back and playing video games with his toddlers, which of course looks good compared to naked trips to Starbucks, but is still far from Dr. Spock. The dude has four kids and no job other than holding the world record in finger-crossing as the courts get closer to announcing how much of Britney's money he's going to be carrying off. And don't tell us he had no idea what madcap antics were going on in his house and his wife's car. The parenting mistakes are not one-sided here. Kevin, you need to Step. It. Up.
3. Heather Mills: It's true that the former Mrs. McCartney has been vilified in the press after her break-up with the cute one. But throwing $200,000 birthday parties for her four year-old (money that perhaps would be better spent on therapy), and giving a public demonstration of her own mental illness, did not endear her to the masses or promote a safe environment for little Beatrice. To perpetuate the crazy, Mills recently hired a new French "aristocrat" publicist and enemy of Barbara Walters, Michele Elyzabeth, who blogs about Heather alongside her dog and some random hair dresser to the stars. Hey Heather, how about throwing some of that Beatle money into parenting classes instead of supporting a How did K. Fed get fatherhood props?crazy Frenchie not seen since the likes of Zinedine Zidane?
4. Dog the Bounty Hunter: What does your dad have to do to you in order to make you publicly humiliate him and cut off all that TV money? Dog's son, Tucker the Bounty Hunter, turned in the tape of Dog spewing nasty racist remarks and promptly got the reality show star dressed down. Dog says he was trying to warn off Tucker from his son's girlfriend who is black and apparently a bad influence on the recently paroled twenty-year-old, and apparently needed to be a complete dirt bag while doing so. Still, you've gotta think that something else was going on in that household that caused Tucker to destroy it from the inside. Hmmm, let's take a stab that it's something less Shakespearan and more corporal punishment-like, yes?
5. O.J. Simpson: While killing the mother of one's children should qualify a person for worst parent of all time, since the glove didn't fit, we'll just play along with that not-guilty verdict for now. But we're starting to think that O.J. wants to go to prison. First Simpson decides to muse about the double murders of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman in his fantasy tell-all, If I Did It. But apparently the book advance couldn't cover the rising cost of Simpson's Oxycontin addiction/child care, so The Juice decided to sell some of his football memorabilia after retrieving it at gunpoint. Does anyone else think these children would be much better served if the authorities just went ahead and locked that man up?
6. Courtney Love: Courtney Love is a whole lot of mess, which doesn't necessarily have to translate into bad parenting, but in this case, it does. She took heroin during her pregnancy, according to a Vanity Fair article which she now refutes. In 2003, she overdosed on the celebrity drug of choice, Oxycontin, and was arrested for possession, resulting in the loss of custody of then eleven-year-old Francis Bean. In addition to a wildly unstable home life, Francis Bean has to live in a world where mom's misspelled/misguided blog is available to everyone with a MySpace account.
7. Kate Moss: Letting a public and messy drug addict hang out with your toddler qualifies as shaky judgment, at best. But Pete Doherty isn't the only bad influence in Moss' young daughters' life. Moss can hold her own in the seemingly popular arena of drug-influenced parenting. After being busted for cocaine possession, Moss started what will surely be a long line of self-esteem-destroying disappointments for her daughter Grace, when she reportedly missed her third birthday due to the requisite rehab stay. But at least Moss was cleaning up, cuz we've got Jo Frost on speed dial.
©2007 April Peveteaux and Liz Nadybal and Nerve Media
About the Author
|
|
Related Articles
|
|
April Peveteaux is an editor, writer and performer. Her work can be seen in
RADAR and The Life and Times of the Mummy. She lives in Brooklyn
with her husband, daughter and cocker spaniel. |
|
|
-
by Marjorie Ingall
Believe it or not, formula isn't poison.
-
by Madeline Holler
I love you, but I hate your kid.
-
by Katie Allison Granju
A leading attachment parenting writer says, enough already.
|
