The 15 Worst Celebrity Parents of the Year
Britney and K. Fed have plenty of company.
by April Peveteaux and Liz Nadybal
December 13, 2007
8. David Hasselhoff: The Hoff is no stranger to booze. Booze and burgers, that is. Having gone through rehab, he asked his (presumably mortified) daughters to film him if he ever fell off the wagon. Being the co-dependent children of an addict, they complied and daughter Taylor Ann caught this beauty. As if his music videos were not enough of an embarrassment. The video made its way onto Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, and other celebrity news outlets. Losing visitation rights to his girls came swiftly after.
9. Flava Flav: Flava Flav may know what time it is, but does he know his kids' names and their mothers' names? Coming in at seven, from three different mothers, this man can't finish a thought but apparently he can finish when it counts. And when one of Flav's offspring showed up on camera on his own reality show, wearing a "Winning Against Deadbeat Dads" shirt, it became clear that Flav was not picking up the bill for Gymboree classes. Flav has also had his driver's license revoked forty-eight times, so you know he's not taking those kids out for a Sunday drive either. Tragically, we could see more Baby Flav's come about as a result of the latest season of Flavor of Love.
10. Larry Birkhead: "I told you so!" were the first words from Larry Birkhead, who was presumably channeling a twelve-year-old boy, as he found Flav's offspring showed up on camera on his own reality show, wearing a "Winning Against Deadbeat Dads" shirt.out he was indeed the biological father of Danielynn, the daughter of Anna Nicole Smith. While most new parents would be holding their offspring tight and taking them out of harm's way, Birkhead was securing "exclusive" interviews and photo ops. There was plenty of sordid behavior by all the players in this very special episode of Montel, but we were all praying for a little normality for baby Danielynn, whose life began with the death of her half-brother, Daniel, and continues in the custody of (gay? sperm-mixing? friends with benefits to Howard K. Stern?) Birkhead.
11. Alec Baldwin: In the past year, Alec Baldwin has become a famous asshole thanks to his vitriolic voice mail to his eleven-year-old daughter. While most parents could relate to going nuts on occasion with their kids, the thing that shocked the public was the barnyard talk. Alec calls his daughter "a thoughtless, rude little pig." Naturally, the tape was leaked by ex-wife Kim Basinger to use in the custody battle. And putting her daughter's personal humiliation out there for the world to hear doesn't exactly qualify Basinger for mother of the year.
12. and 13. Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards: Booze, drugs and hookers are no stranger to Mr. Charles Sheen — and becoming a father to two adorable girls with mom Denise Richards did not seem to be enough to make the Sheen/Estevez black sheep change his ways. You know things are all kinds of effed up when you're taking your two- and three-year-old babies to therapy. Hmm, could it be the seriously nasty divorce proceedings with accusations from molestation to sperm stealing being tossed around? Sadly, this leaves the kids all alone with their Wild Things and Men at Work DVDs.
14. and 15. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown: "Crack is whack!" So says former diva and current mess, Whitney Houston.Visions of the two of them slurring singing in the hotel gift shop will haunt their daughter, Bobbi Kris, forever. Apparently when the money ran out for the non-whack coke, pot and booze, the Browns decided to make some quick cash by letting the world see why child protective services should be called, and pronto. We all wanted to form an intervention, and apparently the Houston family made it happen because Whit came in and out of rehab and dumped that chump, resulting in the nasty custody battle that still wages. Still, visions of the two of them slurring singing in the hotel gift shop will haunt their daughter, Bobbi Kris, forever. Or maybe that's just us . . .
©2007 April Peveteaux and Liz Nadybal and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Liz Nadybal is a recent graduate of Rutgers University. Having spent the summer watching countless hours of daytime television, she has come to realize that she needs to be a fat camp counselor and make a movie starring Christopher Walken. She lives in New Jersey and loves to play Scrabble. |
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