Parental Advisory 4
Can I throw out all these %$&#@ plastic toys?
by Rebecca Odes & Ceridwen Morris
January 3, 2007
I cannot tolerate one more dumb plastic toy in my house. My in-laws have been sending over beeping, blinking things since day one. Not only are these toys noisy and irritating, they're huge. They've sent entire kitchens, shopping carts and fake tree houses, each with its own light show and soundtrack. Our apartment is starting to feel like Vegas. How do I get them to stop and can I get rid of the toys without offending anyone? — Low Roller
Dear Low Roller,
You can send family photos of your children holding tasteful wooden toys from Denmark. You can go on extensively about your cramped quarters and need for more space. You can send them articles about how bad plastic is for the environment. But they probably won't get the hint, and they may take offense. The Disney-Barbie Industrial Complex is a force to be reckoned with. As far as we can tell, the only way to control what toys enter your house is to tell people exactly what to buy, even if that means inscribing all invitations with "No Gifts . . . Seriously, NO gifts." Barring that, you can always take out the batteries or put tape over the speakers.
Since before we even had any kids, my wife and I have been in a debate about dosing kids to sleep with medication. Now that we've got a two-year-old and a ten-hour overnight flight in the near future, the question has become more than theoretical. So, what's your opinion? Is knocking out your kids with Benadryl a public service or child abuse? — Flying on Friday
Dear Flying on Friday,
Though it may not get as much press as some of the biggies, to drug or not to drug is quite a polarizing issue among parents. There's certainly a long history of antihistamine use for travel — Dramamine both prevents nausea and causes drowsiness. Some frequent travelers swear by Benadryl to ensure smooth flights with young kids. There are even those who think that traveling drug-free is outright unfair to other passengers. But some people think medicating kids for the sole purpose of shutting them up is unethical, or at the very least, bad parenting. We think it all depends on your own idea of right and wrong and tolerance for sleep deprivation.
Personally, we see no major crime in an occasional extra dose of antihistamine if it's a choice between that and a miserable flight for everyone. We asked our own pediatricians about this before transatlantic flights, and they were fine with it, as long as the dosage was correct. Hell, we know medical professionals who so stand by the harmlessness of Benadryl, they give it to their kids to get them to sleep on a regular basis — even at home.
But even though it may be safe, it's not necessarily the thing to do, especially if your partner thinks it's a bad idea. If you two don't agree, you may be better off suffering through the bad plane flight than dealing with the residual guilt and bad feelings that might result if you do go ahead with the dosing. Better to have everyone else on the plane hate you than for you to hate each other. It also may not work. Sometimes antihistamines have little or no visible effect and can even cause a hyperactive response in some kids. If you do opt for doping, have a conversation with your pediatrician and a be sure to do a pre-flight test.
I feel like my sex life would spark up a little if I were able to go out more and develop flirtatious relationships with other men. I used to have a lot of them before we had kids and I swear it made me a better lover to my husband. Now I'm home all day and all night with the kids, and I feel like I need some semi-scandal or I'll wither away. Do I need to give up this fantasy? Or pursue it? I'm not a cheater. I just need a little reinforcement. — Home Alone
Dear Home Alone,
We're all for using semi-scandalous flirtation as a means to your own monogamous ends. It's obviously worked for you in the past. You feel great. Your partner gets laid. Even the children benefit when parents are thriving in the sack. Breeders can be appallingly bad at keeping the sex hot in long-term relationships. So if you're game, and your husband can take it, flirt away. Be that irresistible friend/coworker-you-can't-sleep-with that you once were. A word of warning, however. Flirtations do get out of control. Feeling like a boring married mom can make an affair that much more tempting. It may also have been easier to translate your desires back to your husband before you started calling him Daddy. If you find your mind persistently wandering to the flirt object, we strongly suggest prudence.
Have a question? Email parentaladvisory@babble.com
©2006 Rebecca Odes & Ceridwen Morris and Nerve Media
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