December Baby Horoscopes!
Libra: Start now on your "Yay, I love this present" face.
by Brooke Morton
December 3, 2007
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Most kids in America look forward to the cluster of holidays in the fall, but
not you Sag babes. It may seem like you're getting short-changed when it
comes to presents (probably because you are). The good news is that you can take
your cue from drugstores and celebrate all month. Interpret liberally. This can
include nights of staying up late, extra dessert or presents spied while waiting
in the check-out line.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
The key to good dreams is the right snack before bed. Turkey, milk or a bit of
cheese quiet the mind. Having cake, cookies or ice cream ensures that you'll
fall or be chased as soon as you stop counting sheep. I've heard that noshing
on a bowl of cereal before bed fills the head with dreams of sailing — and
who doesn't like boats? As with many things, experimentation is key.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
The sound of silence will not be heard much by you this month. You'll
be swarmed by family and your family's friends and, unfortunately, a few
are going to misinterpret your reticence as keen interest. I think it has something
to do with the fact that your "bored face" is indistinguishable from
your "intrigued" face. The good news is that the longer you grin
blandly and bear it, the bigger and more exotic their holiday gifts will be.
So wait it out as long as you can stand — that is, until you have practice
time in front of the mirror to master some varying new expressions.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
You're known for being funny, but this month is not the time to take it
up a notch. Hiding your army men in the serving bowl of mashed potatoes when
your folks' folks are over is no better an idea than giving the dog a makeover.
Under certain circumstances — namely on TV — these things can amuse,
but better not try anything funny this month. They have other things on their
minds,
like if you've been good or not this year, so don't mess up whatever
pristine image you may have been cultivating.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
When you're older, storms will be a nuisance, or at best an excuse to catch
up on certain indoor activities. But for now, they bring magic and possibility.
If the clouds align, you may win an excuse to ditch school penalty-free — plus,
if snow is in the picture, a day full of insta-fun. So bundle up and get out
there before the fun melts.
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
It's more than okay to work out your issues using gingerbread cookies this
month. With a little frosting, some Red Hots and other tiny treats, you can recreate
all the people who have been giving you grief lately. The best part? You get
to eat their heads off and nobody suspects that you're working through
your issues — they just think you like cookies.
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
As a Gem, you tend to feel safer in numbers. But that's no excuse for
getting too cozy with the co-sleeping arrangements. What works now as a cure
for a case of "the late-night lonelies" won't fly when you're older.
Trust
me: I know a twelve-year-old who still prefers that quality time happen in
the family bed. Sure, that's one way to go. Choose that route and just start
working on how you'll explain that to your middle school chums.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
With so much socializing expected this month, now is the time to pick that go-to
friend or family member who can be your get-out-of-cheek-pinching-free card.
Convince them that some older
mean kid will ruin your Christmas; then it's hello staying
home, watching DVDs and eating ice cream!
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
Don't attend any event thinking you're going to hate it. The holidays
bring loads of surprises and besides, your caregivers' job isn't
to sell you on every event they take you to; instead, their duty is merely to
bring you, my dear. If you don't trust me about the surprises, look to
every holiday tale every told: the story behind Hanukkah, A Christmas Carol,
The Polar Express, Elf.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
Most of the time, when you beg your folks for a penguin or a manatee, they laugh
and remind you that there's no room in the backyard. You can show them
how much you've matured in the last twelve months and remind them that
anyone can sponsor all kinds of wildlife — from elephants to whale sharks — through
various organizations so in a sense, you can have whichever kind of animal you've
always wanted. Maybe just this once — only because you're helping charity — you
can say it: Told ya so.
Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
Not everyone easily displays the expected "Yay, I love this present" face.
The good news is that you get to keep the present no matter what. The bad news
is that if you can't conjure up an expression that makes them happy they
shopped for hours for you, then they may not do it again. Grab a mirror. One
tried-and-true tactic for aspiring actors (and anyone who needs a tactic) is
to imagine that every present is an Oscar statue.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Just because you're in a Big Wheel gang right now doesn't mean that
you'll grow up and wear leather while riding a hog. That's not to
say you'll outgrow your little daredevil streak. Now that you've
tasted adrenaline while whipping around corners at full speed, you've become
a lil' addict. A future in adventure sports awaits.
photo courtesy Julie Blackmon
©2007 Brooke Morton and Nerve Media
