The Babble List: The 15 Most Sexist Daytime Commercials
Fifty years of Stepford moms and dumb dads.
by Cole Gamble
August 5, 2008
Advertisers use a lot of techniques to goad us into buying their client's products: fear; boobs; fear of boobs; Billy Mays. But one time-honored method of sneaking brand loyalty into our cerebral cortex is by appealing to our utter disdain for the opposite sex. Whether it's the idiot dad so inept that in attempting to fit a diaper on his infant child he sets said baby on fire or little girls who want nothing more than to become ice cream parlor golddiggers when they grow up, grotesque sexual stereotypes move product. Some of the worse offenders aim right at kids and parents. And if you don't think advertisers still stoop to such man-bashing and misogynistic ploys in 2008, guess again. — Cole Gamble
15. Dairy Queen
Well, here is a young lady who knows how to get what she wants. Sadly, what she wants is free dessert in exchange for disturbing underage innuendo.
Incidentally, why is this boy hitting on girls? Isn't he still in that "girls are icky" phase? Someone should tell that to his undecended testicles. This girl has no idea what she's getting into. Dude probably sits there all day at Dairy Queen buying Peanut Buster parfaits for every prepubescent lady that walks in the door, like he's the Hugh Hefner of soft serve.
14. Bounty Commercial
Original Script to this commercial:
Dad: What is that?
Son: Some kind of liquid.
Dad: Normally I'd know what to do in these situations, but whenever I walk into the kitchen I become a total moron. Just like all dads do in cute thirty-second increments.
Wife: Those men of mine. Luckily I have a real man around . . .
[Bounty Man Enters and begins to make out with wife. The Green Giant watches through the window.]
THE END.
13. Got PMS? Milk Ad
Why are all these men buying milk? Because according to the milk council, milk can dampen the effects of PMS. Watch the guy intrepidly enter the house armed with milk like it's a sword to slay his wife's fire-breathing hormones.
12. Mattel Tommy Burst
Back in the day, kids were put to work at an early age. Many worked sixteen hour days in factories and, as we can see here, some became private eyes. Or more succinctly, murderers. Notice how that kid killed that guy? I mean, yeah, there was a wacky slide whistle sound effect, but it was still cold blooded murder. (Note to my family: If I am ever tragically killed, do not accompany my death with a slide whistle or any other zany musical instrument such as the piccolo or kazoo.) The message, however, is clear: boys like killing stuff with guns. Sorry ladies, if you want to take somebody's life, you're gonna have to stuff their head into a Easy Bake Oven, 'cause if you want to shoot someone, you have to have a penis.
11. Roomba
A wife's work is never done, especially when you're married to a donkey. And those pig children? What did you expect? You mated with a donkey. Thank goodness you have a small disk-shaped robot to comfort you and fulfill your needs. Wait, am I watching a David Cronenberg movie?
©2008 Cole Gamble and Babble
About the Author |
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Cole Gamble is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. He's working on an evil self-help guide titled Improve Your Life or Die.
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