COMMUNITY| SITE MAP| ABOUT US| ADVERTISE ON BABBLE

<< Previous Story: My Illegal Home BirthNext Story: Parental Advisory: First Gear >>

21. The Neverending Story

I'm not talking about the crazy big turtle here. I'm also not referring to the crappy band Atreyu that exists because of this movie. No, the scary thing about this movie is The Nothing. You know, the thing consuming all of Fantasia. And what is The Nothing? A giant lizard? A sentient radioactive cloud? No, worse. The Nothing is nothing. It is oblivion — the great unknown; the cold and lifeless void beyond our realm of understanding. Hey kiddies, wrap your little heads around that meaty chunk of existential crisis. Thank you, Neverending Story; you are more depressing than reading No Exit. Oh, and that princess? Some say cute, I say creepy.

20. Bambi

Alright everybody, repeat after me: BAMBI'S MOM GETS SHOT.

19. The Dark Crystal

Muppets make it to the list again. That Jim Henson, God bless his soul, was one dark dude.  Riding high on the success of The Muppet Show, Jim took his Hollywood leverage and made this doozy for the kiddies.  Miss Piggy- and Gonzo-loving kids and parents must have thought this J.R.R. Tolkien-like epic would be an adorable Kermit-dressed-as-a-Hobbit romp. What they got were the Skeksis, lizard bird creatures that ate other Muppets and shrieked in such a way, I still can't get it out of my head. Then there’s the Crypt Keeper-looking Muppet who takes her eyeballs out and throws them at people.  Oh, and those gigantic beetle things with their skin-crawling chattering — always with the chattering.

 
And then there’s this:


And that's supposed to be cute.
 
This movie proves one thing; Jim Henson had a love-hate relationship with children.  One moment he wants to soothe them with the clickity-clack of a tap dancing frog, the next he wants them laying in a cold sweat for yet another sleepless night.

18. The Adventures of Mark Twain

You may have caught this one during your summers as a fat boy holed up inside a darkened house avoiding sunlight like it was poison. Oh wait, that was me. If you haven’t seen it, the movie chugs along amiably enough, until it gets to this part:

Claymation apocalypse, anyone?

17. Cars


Let's see: a world devoid of humans where the machines come to life?  This is nothing more than the animated version of a James Cameron post-apocalyptic fever dream.  When exactly did SkyNet take over?  There is no bleaker film on this list.

©2008 Babble

What's New on Babble