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At least once a year throughout my childhood, my grandparents would load me into their Buick for the two-day drive from Indiana to Florida, a portable-DVD-player-less journey that my own pampered children would never have survived. While those of us in the front seat can certainly benefit from a little video entertainment in the back, there's something unwholesome about permitting one's kids to spend the entirety of a long car trip vegging out before the small screen. With audiobooks, there's at least a chance the little nippers might look out the window for a couple of minutes. Having discovered just how good some of these recordings are, Greg and I no longer plug Inky and Milo into the dual headphone jack, but instead let it rip for all to enjoy. My younger self would have eaten these up, if only they'd been available on eight-track. — Ayun Halliday
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Charlotte's Web by E. B. White, read by the author
Ever since The New Yorker correctly dubbed it the Great American Meditation on Death, I can't read this book aloud without choking up on every other page. E. B. White has no such trouble, turning in a restrained and unsentimental performance that only deepened my distaste for the more histrionic offerings on our audio bookshelf (American Girl's Felicity series, anyone?). Like Paul Lynde, dreadfully miscast and utterly delightful as Templeton the Rat in the 1970s animated feature, White makes no effort to tailor his personality to fit the characters, and yet my kids remain captivated for three discs. Plus, we're suckers for his accent.
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Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson, read by Jim Dale
After a month of motoring around the former Yugoslavia with just one audiobook (Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone) to our name, I swore on a stack of road maps that I'd pluck out mine eyes before ever again subjecting myself to that fucking Sorting Hat rhyme, particularly as rendered by British thespian Jim Dale. Maybe the problem was in the material, because his interpretation of Barry and Pearson's Peter Pan prequel had the whole family on the edge of our seatbelts throughout a recent six-hour drive (a bit of a problem, given that the seven-disc set runs nine hours). Now the kids don't want to go to the beach because there's no CD player there on which to spin this rousing pirate-and-mermaid-filled adventure.
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Chato's Kitchen by Gary Soto, read by Cheech Marin
It's a rare picture book that can hold its own without illustrations, but Marin, vocally still the same plotting stoner that powered Cheech and Chong, translates the original's visual humor into an audio format. A simple tale of a "cool, low-riding cat from East Los" who harbors culinary designs for the mouse family next door, Chato's length makes it an excellent selection for a quick trip to the grocery store. After a couple of listens, even my loco niños, whose Latino heritage is non-existent, were able to impress Grandma by rattling off a few words in barrio-Spanish. |
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Four Legged Stories: Animal Stories from Here and Away as told by Laura Simms, accompanied by the Real Myth Ensemble
I suspect that storyteller Simms shares my limited appetite for the kinds of stories where some anthropomorphized turtle is afraid to go to kindergarten, or two little dinosaur girls hurt each other's feelings in the sandbox. Bear, Antelope, She-Goat and the other characters populating this collection of African, Asian and Native American folktales have few human attributes, other than their penchant for trickery, boastfulness, greed, and, occasionally, fidelity and compassion. The calm delivery and a background soundtrack of traditional instruments have been known to work wonders on the jacked-up, car-crazed young.
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A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket, read by Tim Curry
No one, not even the aforementioned Paul Lynde or the pseudonymous author, who has taken an audio crack at other books in the series, is better equipped to deliver this grimly hammy material than Rocky Horror's sweet transvestite. Jim Carrey may be similarly adroit at chewing the scenery, but the ever pursed-lipped Curry makes it sing without the aid of pratfalls and funny facial expressions, sounding notes that are perverse enough to resonate with listeners of all ages. Greg and I were gratified that the kids got such a bang out of it, but pissed, too, because they wouldn't stop laughing, making it very hard to hear what came next.
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Planning a road trip? Check out Babble Best: Forward-facing Car Seats.
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