Knock Yourself Up author Louise Sloan makes a distinction between single moms by choice (donor or adopted babies) and single moms by accident (like Kimberly), although I believe the differences are minor. While in the distorted universe of movies like Knocked Up, the word abortion is never muttered, in the real world, particularly among the urban middle class, ending a pregnancy is always a viable option, much more so than marrying someone whom you either don't know well enough or don't particularly want as a life partner. And while adoption and donor insemination require more money and planning, every single mom, at some level, is making a choice.

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Indeed, what is truly remarkable about this single mom trend is that women are refusing to either give up having children or settle down into an unhappy marriage. They are, in essence, saying: "I want the job, the career, and the power that comes with all that, but I also want to experience domestic joys — of raising a child and connecting to something larger than myself — and if I can't find a partner, I'll do it anyway, even though it will most likely mean a substantial economic burden." It comes down to this: womenIn a strange twist of the old standard, contemporary men may simply not be "marriage material." have built strong networks of friends and support systems independently of marriage. They no longer have to settle for partners who, for whatever reason, lack suitable qualities. In a strange twist of the old standard, contemporary men may simply not be "marriage material."

Rather than pine for Prince Charming, single women are using the skills they have developed from over a decade of working, socializing and building their lives to create a new idea of family. It would be an oversight to say that single moms by choice are soldiers for some gender cause, but there is something truly progressive about women taking a stand for the domestic, for children and the joy parenting brings to your life, even if it means giving up some of the benefits of being single without gaining the financial and emotional advantages of marriage. And while they are indeed raising children without husbands or partners in the traditional sense, they are not raising their families alone. Now that one can shop for sperm, as one would a pair of Louboutins, and social pressure for shotgun marriages is on the decline, women are finding that they are "doing it for themselves." Maybe this is the real revolution.