One is the Awesomest Number
Why I don't want a second child.
by Jeanne Sager
April 21, 2008
I still have that gooey feeling that filled up my heart the first time Jillian clenched her fist around mine. It's enough.
She's enough.
Think I'm selfish?
You're right.
I'm wrapped up in my own life — a life that's wrapped up in Jillian.
I get a decent amount of sleep. Now that we've bid goodbye to diapers and Gerber, I'd say I even get a decent bang out of my buck. After slicing up a hamburger into mini bites and smushing peas into the mashed potatoes, I can spend a decent time eating my own meal. No scarfing down a hardened piece of pizza and sucking down the long-cold dregs of coffee for me.
My boobs are my own these days. And my attention isn't divided. When I'm in the room with my daughter, I no longer have that baby-in-the-house radar honed to catch noises from the nursery.
I can spend an hour — or two — on the floor with Jillian and a pile of wooden puzzles without a single interruption.
"She's going to be so spoiled, you know," they tell me.
For that matter, despite the meager incomes of part-time stay-at-home-mom and a guy on the low end of the banking totem pole, I don't feel guilty buying four puzzles on a trip to Target.
I've let go of the guilt that used to rumble through me when yet another well-meaning parent tells me I ought to give that little girl a brother or sister.
"She's going to be so spoiled, you know," they tell me. I smile. I shrug.
"Don't you want another one to love?" they ask. "I love her," I respond.
"You're going to regret not doing it while you can," they say.
Or "she needs a playmate so she can learn empathy, respect, teamwork." That's why we have a dog. Oh, and my husband is grooming her for a long soccer career.
I have an answer for everything — even the horrid "What will happen to her when you die?" "I'd rather not think about that quite yet," I say.
Faced with all this unsolicited advice, I used to seethe. Now I respond.
©2008 Jeanne Sager and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Jeanne Sager is a freelance writer and photographer living in upstate New York with her husband and daughter, Jillian. She maintains a blog of her award-winning columns at jeannesager.blogspot.com. |
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