The Parenting Do-Over
The upside of having children sixteen years apart.
by Katie Allison Granju
January 7, 2008
Another area where some of my misguided early parenting continues to spank me is household management, a.k.a. "chores." I'm no Martha Stewart myself; in fact, my own grasp of the domestic arts is tenuous. I will always find running a household — cooking, shopping, cleaning and organizing — a challenge. But I did myself no favors by raising a house full of now-big kids who are similarly disinclined to tidy up on a regular basis. More importantly, I did them no favors. Sixteen years into my mothering career, I've come to the somewhat belated conclusion that helping young children learn to clean and organize their own space is an important skill. Not only does it keep the house in more pleasant running order, it helps them to develop the all-important work ethic that will serve them well the rest of their days.
Alas, I was largely unsuccessful in imparting these lessons when my older children were little. And my half-hearted attempts over the years to play catch-up and get them to do their fair share of the housework haven't made up for my earlier failure to require them to make their own beds and put away their toys. This time around, baby sister will be learning to shelve her own books and box up her wooden puzzles as soon as she can walk.
Of course, when reviewing my parenting failures, my successes also come to light. Clearly, I've gotten some things right, because my older children are already truly lovely people. They are all quite independent, as well as polite, clever, funny, kind and talented. I certainly can't take all the credit for this, but I'll proudly claim some, and I'll also be happily repeating many of my earlier choices and practices now that I'm starting Parenting 2.0.
For example, I don't regret always picking them up when they Clearly, I've gotten some things right, because my older children are already truly lovely people. cried, or letting them sleep in our room as babies and toddlers. I don't regret having breastfed them until they were preschoolers, or deciding against spanking as a form of discipline. I am happy that I have encouraged them to take risks and accept challenges, and I'm very happy with my decision to actively encourage their political and social justice awareness from very early ages. These mothering choices have obviously worked well, and I'm happy to have made them.
I never expected to have the opportunity to try my hand at mothering another baby. She represents a new beginning for me, as well as for her older siblings. She's proof to all of us that while family change can be hard, it can also be a blessing.
Let's just hope she's a blessing who learns to pick up her dirty laundry.
©2008 Katie Allison Granju and Nerve Media
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