Equality Now
Today's men do it all. Where does that leave women?
by Jessica Francis Kane
February 8, 2007
Is she saying she was a better parent? I don't know. But that's the kind of thinking I'm susceptible to. Because with all the strides we've made toward equality, there's an enduring double standard. When my husband makes a mistake — buttoning a dress on backwards, or mismatching the sippy cup tops — it's funny. We have a name for these errors in our house: the Classic Daddy Mistake, and they produce peals of laughter in my girl. But when I make a mistake? Somehow it's not as funny. My daughter will ask if I'm tired or if I forgot to pay attention. Exasperated, I asked her once why Mommy mistakes weren't funny. Why was she so worried?
"You don't make mistakes," she said.
I can only infer that she means I should not make mistakes.
When my son was born last May, my daughter said shMy daughter was concerned I couldn't handle two kids.e was concerned I couldn't handle two kids. Where on earth did she get that idea?
"Probably listening to you on the phone," my husband said.
Oh.
So I don't get to be the favorite comforter, but I'm still supposed to be supremely responsible? It's a hard road. Still, whatever my girl may grow up thinking of my mothering, I'm glad there are days when she sees me return from work, other work. She runs to me, tired, for the moment, of her father and his rules, and I get to be the popular player returning to the game. She asks me if I worked well. I say, "Yes, thanks for asking."
For the moment, I like this arrangement, in spite of all of its compromises. As much as it's affected the way my daughter sees me, it's also changed the way she sees her father. The other day she announced, "Boys don't carry purses." Before I could craft a response, something fair and open-minded, she added, "Just diaper bags."
That's my girl.
©2007 Jessica Francis Kane and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Jessica Francis Kane is the author of the story collection Bending Heaven. Her work has been broadcast on BBC radio and has appeared in Virginia Quarterly Review, McSweeney's, and Brain, Child. She lives in Charlottesville, Virginia, and is a contributing writer for The Morning News.org. |
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