Presents, Please
Why I don't believe in "no gift" parties.
by Amy Lutz
October 29, 2007
Erika has also started thinking about gifts on other occasions — or even when there's no occasion at all. She's discovered how easy it is to brighten her friends' days by sending them cyber gifts through Webkinz, or to cheer up her sick sister with a stuffed animal from the drug store. As encouraging as I have been of these impulses, I can't help but wonder if Erika would have developed them in the first place if she had been told when her friends turned four, then five, then six, that her gifts weren't wanted. And those impulses are ones I hope she carries into adulthood. My grown-up friends are equally delighted with a chocolate-chip scone, an interesting book, or any other unexpected little present. As reductive as it sounds, I have come to believe everyone would be happier if more gifts were exchanged, not less.
But what, you might ask, about the also admirable goal of teaching kids philanthropy by having them donate birthday cash to charity? The New York Times praised this type of "no gift" party as "the first hyper-parenting trend that doesn't reek of wanton excess." And I certainly want my children to develop a desire to help those in need. But there are many opportunities throughout the year for kids to participate in philanthropic activities. Schools, synagogues and churches often hold seasonal drives to collect food, toys and clothes; hospitals, fire stations,I want my kids to think about charity as something routine — unlike birthdays, which are special. animal shelters and countless other organizations welcome donations of time, money and supplies all year round. And that's how I want my kids to think about charity, as something routine — unlike birthdays, which are special. Despite the old joke that "every day is children's day," birthdays are really the only day kids get to be the absolute center of attention, the only day that is all about what they (and not their siblings, friends or even the homeless or the cancer patients) want. Teaching them to be charitable, that's what we want. Lucky for us, we get the other 364 days. That's plenty of time.
©2007 Amy Lutz and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Amy S.F. Lutz's work has appeared in dozens of
literary journals, including Cream City Review, The American
Poetry Review, Puerto del Sol, and Mid-American Review. She and
her husband have five children. She and her sister chronicle their two-family household in the blog whoelsewantstoliveinmyhouse.com |
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