Misery
Post-partum depression nearly killed me. Then I had a second baby.
by Adrienne Martini
October 22, 2007
Modern science doesn't have any firm theories about what causes postpartum depression, which affects up to ten percent of new moms. An even smaller percentage of new moms — less than one percent — will experience postpartum psychosis, which is marked by a severe untethering from reality. Andrea Yates, the Houston mom who killed her five kids because voices were urging her to do so, was probably suffering from psychosis.
While there are some strong warning signs, like a family history of mental illness or previous depressive episodes, it's still a crapshoot to predict whether any given mom will experience it. Medical minds do know, however, that postpartum depression tends to become more severe with each subsequent pregnancy. Yates herself was warned after her fourth baby to not have a fifth, since that would almost certainly trigger another episode. She didn't listen.
The eagle-eyed reader will notice in this essay's opening sentence that I refer to the Deep in the darkest recesses of my psyche, I knew that if I could go through it once and come back out, I could do it again. baby who kicked off my own locked ward-level depression as my "first." I stepped back into the potential PPD thunderdome, knowing full well what could happen. I had my reasons, of course.
First, my husband and I always knew that if we had one baby that we would have two. I grew up as an only child and still wish for a sibling, even though that ship has long since sailed. We both believe that parents need to spread the guilt and joys between at least two kids. Three offspring were briefly considered before we had the two. Now we think of three and just laugh.
Second, I'd had two years of relative sanity before we stuck our heads back into the lion's mouth. Deep in the darkest recesses of my psyche, I knew that if I could go through it once and come back out, I could do it again. Not that I wanted to — but I could.
Third, it's one thing to have postpartum depression spring up on you with little warning. It's another to know what can happen and put plans in place to prevent it. My first meeting with my new OB — we'd moved from Tennessee to New York between kids — consisted of my putting my four-inch-thick file on her desk and making it clear that I wanted to not do that again. She agreed that that was a perfectly sane response and that it was completely do-able with some planning.
©2007 Adrienne Martini and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Adrienne Martini has written for the Austin Chronicle and Cooking Light. A former editor for Knoxville, Tennessee's Metro Pulse, her first book is Hillbilly Gothic: A Memoir of Madness and Motherhood. She chronicles her adventures at www.martinimade.com. |
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