Father's Day
One night in the life of a custody arrangement.
by Joel Schwartzberg
August 16, 2007
"Daddy, lock your doo-wer." one of my daughters says as we pull out of my ex-wife's driveway.
My five-year-old twins, already in pajamas, are buckled into second-hand car seats, their arms just long enough to flip the locks. My eight-year-old son is locked and loaded into the back seat between his sisters.
I get them from Friday night to Saturday night every week. We call it "Lazy Dadurday." And lazy it is. We wake up late, enjoy our frozen waffle or Cheerios breakfasts, trek to the bookstore, the pet store or the pool, and just let it all hang out. My joy is simply being with them. Often joining us is my girlfriend, who shows them the kind of non-condescending respect I'd wish on any child, and they return her affection in spades. It doesn't hurt that she has cats and makes her own French fries.
I flip my car door lock per my daughter's plea, and thank her for looking out for me. Beginning to feel the delightfully "Remember, you have two homes: one with Mommy, and one with me," I say.familiar weight of responsibility, I proceed down the long road that will eventually take us from their mother's home to mine.
"Everything okay, guys?" I ask, glancing at them in the rearview mirror.
"Sure," offers my son.
"I mean with the divorce and all . . . do you have any questions or worries or anything?"
"Nope," he replies for all of them.
But the older twin has a question: "Why can't Mommy sleep at your house with us?"
I imagine the scene — my girlfriend, my ex-wife, me, four cats, three kids, one bedroom.
"Remember, you have two homes: one with Mommy, and one with me," I say, not answering the question. "You don't just visit me; you live with me, too."
©2007 Joel Schwartzberg and Nerve Media
About the Author
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Joel Schwartzberg's work has appeared in The New York Times Magazine, New Jersey Monthly and The New Jersey Star Ledger, for which he is a regular blogger. Schwartzberg is also a senior producer for the PBS television news magazine NOW. He can be reached through his portfolio at www.jesttokill.com. |
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